SNL Transcripts: Richard Pryor: 12/13/75: Pong

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 7

75g: Richard Pryor / Gil Scott-Heron


…..Tom Davis
…..Al Franken

[FADE IN on a blue “Pong” video screen. The player on the left is leading the one on the right, 5-0. The players are heard talking off camera.]

Tom Davis: Yeah, I heard you guys lost to the University of Toronto last night. What was it, 11 to 2?

Al Franken: Yeah, they had this one guy named Bouchard, who was just amazing. He looked like he played pro hockey or something. Boy, he had a great night.

Tom Davis: Sounds like, uh…

[The player on the right misses a shot, making the score 6-0.]

Tom Davis: Sounds like you had it pretty rough last night.

Al Franken: Well, yeah, but I, I scored a goal.

Tom Davis: YOU scored a GOAL? But you’re the goalie, right?

[The right-hand player misses again to make the score 7-0.]

Al Franken: Yeah, I’m the goalie. Yeah. What happened was, this Bouchard had an incredible slapshot, and he, uh, he hit one real hard, I didn’t see it, it hit me right in the cup, you know?

Tom Davis: Wow.

Al Franken: Yeah. Bounced to center ice, and all the way down to the other end, and it skipped past their goalie.

Tom Davis: No kidding!

[The player misses another shot; the score is now 8-0.]

Tom Davis: Boy, I wish I had seen that. Hey, your mouth looks pretty bad, does that still hurt? Franken: A little. Uh, they said the stitches will be out next week, but–

Tom Davis: How did that happen? I heard you got hit with a stick, or something?

Al Franken: Naw, you see this, uh… you know, we didn’t have a chance with this Bouchard guy dancing around, you know. So, uh, he came swooshing by my net after he scored his eighth goal, you know? So I just, uh, tapped him a little bit on the head with my stick…

Tom Davis: Right.

Al Franken: Boy, the next thing you know, this Bouchard guy’s got his gloves on the ice, and he’s punching me in the mouth as hard as he can–

[Again, the right-hand “Pong” player misses for a score of 9-0.]

Tom Davis: Wow!

Al Franken: And get this: the ref throws ME out of the game instead of Bouchard.

[The right-hand player misses an easy shot to make it a 10-0 game.]

Tom Davis: No kidding!

Al Franken: Yeah, he was making bad calls like that all night.

Tom Davis: Wow.

[The player on the right misses still another shot, effectively ending the game at 11-0. The ball and the “players” suddenly disappear.]

Al Franken: Hey, there’s something wrong with my side of the, uh, machine, here…

Tom Davis: Well, let’s play another game, and we’ll switch sides.

Al Franken: No, no, I gotta suit up for pwactice.

[FADE to black.]

Submitted by: Joe Cornfield

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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