SNL Transcripts: Richard Pryor: 12/13/75: Samurai Hotel

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 7

75g: Richard Pryor / Gil Scott-Heron

Samurai Hotel

Written by: Tom Schiller

Samurai…..John Belushi
Traveler…..Chevy Chase
Bellboy…..Richard Pryor

Announcer: Now, another edition of “Samurai Hotel”.

[ open on Samurai placing hotel visitors’ mail in various room slots, grunting as he pushes each piece in ] [ Traveler enters ]

Traveler: Excuse me? Excuse me. I’d like a room for the night, please? [ Samurai grunts ] Actually, I’ll probably be staying through to Tuesday. [ Samurai withdraws sword, accidentally knicking his shoulder ] Do you have a king-size bed? One with a king-size bed. [ Samurai extends sword ] I guess, uh.. perhaps, get a room with, uh.. You know what I’d like? A room overlooking the park. Are the rates high for that? [ Samurai yells, motions sword ] Do you have room service? [ Samurai grunts ] Room service. [ Samurai extends sword ] Uh.. what’s your check-out time? [ Samurai makes series of motions with sword across the front desk, as Traveler fills out the log ] Could you get a bellboy to get my bags, please? Carry my bags up?

[ Bellboy approaches front desk, as he and Samurai yell at one another ]

Traveler: Fellas? Which one of you is gonna carry my bags upstairs?

[ Samurai and Bellboy both extend swords, then run toward one another several times, as Traveler waits. Demonstrating his prowess, Samurai uses sword to slice a hanging ornament down from the ceiling. ]

Samurai: Your momma-san!

Bellboy: [ angry ] My Momma-san?!! [ raises sword and slices front desk in half ]

Samurai: [ in the only English he’ll ever speak ] Well, I can dig where you’re comin’ from.. I’ll take these bags up to the room.. [ picks up Traveler’s bags and carries them upstairs ] [ fade to black ]

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