Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 8
….. Candice Bergen
….. Don Pardo
….. Chevy Chase
[ FADE IN on Candice standing at home base as the audience applauds ]
Candice Bergen: Do you have a funny home movie that you think America would enjoy? If you do or want to make one, in Super 8 or 16mm, no longer than two minutes, NBC’s Saturday Night wants to see it. So send it to us. We’ll tell you how in a minute. Now, what do you get for sending us your home movies? Would you tell them what they get, Don Pardo?
Don Pardo (V/O): Candice, they get absolutely nothing. And in addition, the film will not be returned. Unless, of course, they send along a self-addressed stamped envelope.
Candice Bergen: Ah, tell them about guarantees, Don Pardo.
Don Pardo (V/O): Candice, people sending in home movies have no garuntees that NBC will use the film.
Candice Bergen: Well, if it is used, tell them what rights they have, Don Pardo.
Don Pardo (V/O): Candice, they have no rights whatsoever. But NBC will have unlimited rights to use the film in all media and in related publicity and promotion.
Candice Bergen: Isn’t this a wonderful offer? Send in your home movie comedies as fast as you can. Tell them where, Don Pardo.[ DISSOLVE to the address written in white letters on a red background:
NBC’s Saturday Night
Box 304 Radio City Station
New York, N.Y. 10019 ]
Don Pardo (V/O): Send your home movies, up to two minutes, Super 8 or 16mm, to “Home Movies, NBC’s Saturday Night, Box 304, Radio City Station, New York, New York, 10019”. Include your name and current address.
Candice Bergen: And now, back to our home television show.[ Chevy Chase enters from the right of the screen ]
Chevy Chase: Candy?
Candice Bergen: Yes, Chevy?
Chevy Chase: Perhaps we ought to show our home audience and studio audience just what we mean by “home movie”.
Candice Bergen: Okay.
Chevy Chase: Would you step this way?
Candice Bergen: (laughs)
Chevy Chase: We happen to have made a two-minute film ourselves, and uh…we thought we might show it to you now. It’s the Bee Capades, of course, on the Rockefeller skating rink.[ This leads directly into the Bee Capades film ]
Submitted by: Dan Pascoe