SNL Transcripts: Candice Bergen: 12/20/75: Home Movies

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 8

75h: Candice Bergen / Martha Reeves, The Stylistics

Home Movies

….. Candice Bergen
….. Don Pardo
….. Chevy Chase

[ FADE IN on Candice standing at home base as the audience applauds ]

Candice Bergen: Do you have a funny home movie that you think America would enjoy? If you do or want to make one, in Super 8 or 16mm, no longer than two minutes, NBC’s Saturday Night wants to see it. So send it to us. We’ll tell you how in a minute. Now, what do you get for sending us your home movies? Would you tell them what they get, Don Pardo?

Don Pardo (V/O): Candice, they get absolutely nothing. And in addition, the film will not be returned. Unless, of course, they send along a self-addressed stamped envelope.

Candice Bergen: Ah, tell them about guarantees, Don Pardo.

Don Pardo (V/O): Candice, people sending in home movies have no garuntees that NBC will use the film.

Candice Bergen: Well, if it is used, tell them what rights they have, Don Pardo.

Don Pardo (V/O): Candice, they have no rights whatsoever. But NBC will have unlimited rights to use the film in all media and in related publicity and promotion.

Candice Bergen: Isn’t this a wonderful offer? Send in your home movie comedies as fast as you can. Tell them where, Don Pardo.

[ DISSOLVE to the address written in white letters on a red background:

Home Movies
NBC’s Saturday Night
Box 304 Radio City Station
New York, N.Y. 10019 ]

Don Pardo (V/O): Send your home movies, up to two minutes, Super 8 or 16mm, to “Home Movies, NBC’s Saturday Night, Box 304, Radio City Station, New York, New York, 10019”. Include your name and current address.

[ DISSOLVE back to Candice ]

Candice Bergen: And now, back to our home television show.

[ Chevy Chase enters from the right of the screen ]

Chevy Chase: Candy?

Candice Bergen: Yes, Chevy?

Chevy Chase: Perhaps we ought to show our home audience and studio audience just what we mean by “home movie”.

Candice Bergen: Okay.

Chevy Chase: Would you step this way?

Candice Bergen: (laughs)

Chevy Chase: We happen to have made a two-minute film ourselves, and uh…we thought we might show it to you now. It’s the Bee Capades, of course, on the Rockefeller skating rink.

[ This leads directly into the Bee Capades film ]

Submitted by: Dan Pascoe

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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