SNL Transcripts: Elliot Gould: 01/10/76: The Dead String Quartet

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 9





75i: Elliot Gould / Anne Murray

The Dead String Quartet

First Violinist…..Dan Aykroyd
Second Violinist…..Jane Curtin
Third Violinist…..Garrett Morris
Cellist…..Chevy Chase

[ open on three violinist and one cellist seated in the middle of the apron the stage, seemingly asleep ]

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the Dead String Quartet.

[ SUPER: “The Dead String Quartet” ] [ light laughter, as the audience waits with eager anticipation to see what’s going to happen next ] [ Dead String Quartet remains perfectly still for a number of seconds, until First Violinist slowly keels over to his left, sound of his reed slipping across the violin strings as his body keels over ] [ First Violinist bumps into Second Violinist, causing a similar reaction from her, as her reed slips over the violin strings and she keels into Third Violinist ] [ Third Violinist’s body keels on into the Cellist, whose body and cello lean over to the edge of the stage ] [ Cellist balances between his cello and the floor for a few seconds, before finally toppling over the apron and landing with a thud in the middle of the audience ]

Cellist: [ suddenly alive, reaches his arm over the apron and looks into the camera ] “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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