Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 9
Gilda & Elliot I
….. Elliot Gould
….. Gilda Radner
[ As the audience applauds Elliot’s monologue, he unwraps a piece of gum and chews it. Gilda Radner walks on stage, clapping. ]
Elliot Gould: Hi Gilda, thanks for the gum.
Gilda Radner: Oh, you’re welcome…
Elliot Gould: You okay?
Gilda Radner: Yeah, Elliot. I just want to tell you that I had a wonderful time last night.
Elliot Gould: Aww…
Gilda Radner: Thank you.
Elliot Gould: Well, me too. I had a ball.
[ The audience laughs as Elliot glances towards them, grinning. ]
Gilda Radner – You know, um, uh…after you left my place this morning I was a little nervous about seeing you today. But I don’t feel guilty or anything, because I know I like you. And you said you like me, right?
Elliot Gould: Sure do.
Gilda Radner: What are you doing after the show?
Elliot Gould: Tonight?
Gilda Radner: Yeah.
Elliot Gould: Aw, Gilda, I’ve got to fly right back to California in the morning. So I’ve got to go back to my hotel, pack, and then I just thought I’d go to sleep.
[ Gilda is disappointed, and puts her hands on Elliot’s sides ]
Gilda Radner: Oh, okay. Uh, look, I’m a grown woman. I understand how things happen between people. And I just want you to know that I meant everything I said last night.
Elliot Gould: (pause) Me too.
Gilda Radner: (cheerfully) Really? Okay, bye.
[ Gilda kisses Elliot on the cheek and exits ]
Elliot Gould: We’ll be right back after this message.
[ Paul Shaffer plays a jaunty piano tune, and Elliot looks into the camera and does a goofy dance ]
Submitted by: Dan Pascoe