SNL Transcripts: Elliot Gould: 01/10/76: Shimmer



Saturday Night Live Transcripts


Season 1: Episode 9





75i: Elliot Gould / Anne Murray

Shimmer

Wife…..Gilda Radner
Husband…..Dan Aykroyd
Spokesman…..Chevy Chase

[ open on suburban kitchen, Wife and Husband arguing ]

Wife: New Shimmer is a floor wax!

Husband: No, new Shimmer is a dessert topping!

Wife: It’s a floor wax!

Husband: It’s a dessert topping!

Wife: It’s a floor wax, I’m telling you!

Husband: It’s a dessert topping, you cow!

Spokesman: [ enters quickly ] Hey, hey, hey, calm down, you two. New Shimmer is both a floor wax and a dessert topping! Here, I’ll spray some on your mop.. [ sprays Shimmer onto mop ] ..and some on your butterscotch pudding. [ sprays Shimmer onto pudding ] [ Husband eats while Wife mops ]

Husband: Mmmmm, tastes terrific!

Wife: And just look at that shine! But will it last?

Spokesman: Hey, outlasts every other leading floor wax, 2 to 1. It’s durable, and it’s scuff-resistant.

Husband: And it’s delicious!

Spokesman: Sure is! Perks up anything from an ice cream sundae to a pumpkin pie!

Wife: Made from an exclusive non-yellowing formula.

Husband: I haven’t even touched my pudding and I’m ready for more!

Wife: But what about black heel marks?

Spokesman: Dirt, grime, even black heel marks, wipe clean with a damp mop.

[ Husband accidentally sprays Shimmer onto the floor ]

Husband: Oh, sorry, honey, I’ll clean that up!

Wife: Oh, no problem, sweetheart, not with new Shimmer!

[ Spokesman laughs continuously as he approaches the camera ]

Spokesman: New Shimmer, for the greatest shine you ever tasted!

[ fade ]

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of