SNL Transcripts: Peter Cook & Dudley Moore: 01/24/76: Bomb Squad


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 11

75k: Peter Cook & Dudley Moore / Neil Sedaka

Bomb Squad

Officer ….. Garrett Morris
Wife ….. Gilda Radner
Husband ….. George Coe
Bomb Expert ….. Chevy Chase

[ A police officer is carefully sliding a brown box wrapped in yarn out from underneath a staircase. Husband and wife are standing by anxiously in their pajamas ]

Officer: Nothing to worry about. Someone from the bomb squad will be here any second.

[ On cue, the bomb squad man comes down the stairs, carrying a black leather bag with him. Slowly, he puts down his bag and takes off his jacket, looking at the mysterious package ]

Bomb Expert: Yeah, looks pretty suspicious, Stronski. If I were you I’d get these people upstairs, calmly. Don’t panic, just get the people across the street and out of the buidling, OK?

[ The officer leads the couple up the stairs. Halfway up, the wife stops ]

Wife: Well, what are we gonna…

Bomb Expert: (panicked) GET OUT OF HERE!

[ The officer rushes the couple upstairs. The Bomb Expert takes out a piece of string and from his bag and ties it to the string that’s already around the box. He crouches behind a large wooden crate and gives the string a couple of tugs, moving the box a few inches. He then goes back to the box and takes it and his bag over to the crate. The expert takes a stethoscope out of his bag and listens to the box, giving it a couple of taps with his finger. He takes out a pair of scissors from his bag and cuts the string on the box, then he opens it. A hand launches a cream pie into his face, although it accidentally misses him, causing Chevy to slightly crack up ]

Bomb Expert: “Live From New York, It’s Saturday Night!”

Submitted by: Dan Pascoe

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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