Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 12
75l: Dick Cavett / Jimmy Cliff
H & L Brock I
Lowell Brock … John Belushi
[open on Lowell Brock standing behind his chair in his office, reading a folder]
Lowell Brock: Hi, I’m Lowell Brock, for H&L Brock, with more of my seventeen reasons why you should bring your taxes to us, insa- instead of H&R Block. [he sits in the chair]
Reason number one: [SUPER: “REASON #1: WE CHEAT FOR YOU”] we are willing to cheat for you. Take for example, this little item [indicates folder]- reason number two: [SUPER: “REASON #2: BOGUS RECEIPT SERVICE”] our bogus receipt service. [Spreads folder to show various fake receipts]. We can fabricate entire business trips using our collection of all the standard receipt forms used by [points to various receipts] legitimate restaurants, airlines, car rentals, or any expense remotely related to your business. [closes folder]
Why pay costly taxes [removes his glasses] when you don’t have to? [SUPER: “H&L BROCK: THE TAX FRAUD PEOPLE”] Bring your taxes to H&L Brock and don’t you be a chump this year.
[applause and fade]
Submitted Anonymously
