SNL Transcripts: Dick Cavett: 01/31/76: H & L Brock I

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 12



75l: Dick Cavett / Jimmy Cliff

H & L Brock I

Lowell Brock … John Belushi

[open on Lowell Brock standing behind his chair in his office, reading a folder]

Lowell Brock: Hi, I’m Lowell Brock, for H&L Brock, with more of my seventeen reasons why you should bring your taxes to us, insa- instead of H&R Block. [he sits in the chair]

Reason number one: [SUPER: “REASON #1: WE CHEAT FOR YOU”] we are willing to cheat for you. Take for example, this little item [indicates folder]- reason number two: [SUPER: “REASON #2: BOGUS RECEIPT SERVICE”] our bogus receipt service. [Spreads folder to show various fake receipts]. We can fabricate entire business trips using our collection of all the standard receipt forms used by [points to various receipts] legitimate restaurants, airlines, car rentals, or any expense remotely related to your business. [closes folder]

Why pay costly taxes [removes his glasses] when you don’t have to? [SUPER: “H&L BROCK: THE TAX FRAUD PEOPLE”] Bring your taxes to H&L Brock and don’t you be a chump this year.

[applause and fade]

Submitted Anonymously

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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