SNL Transcripts: Dick Cavett: 01/31/76: H & L Brock II


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 12

75l: Dick Cavett / Jimmy Cliff

H & L Brock II

Lowell Brock…John Belushi

[open on Lowell Brock’s office. Lowell is sitting in his chair, ripping scraps of paper out of a document with the header ‘TAX LAW’. He licks the scraps and puts them on his cheeks before noticing the camera, and quickly removes them].

Lowell Brock: Hi, I’m Lowell Brock, for H&L Brock, with more of my seventeen reasons why you should bring your taxes to us, instead of H&R Brock [Belushi muffs the last part of the line].

Reason number three: [SUPER: “REASON #3: WE PAY OFF IRS OFFICIALS”] we pay off Internal Revenue Service Officials. H&L Brock has been greasing palms in Washington for over 20 years, and all for your benefit. Take, for example, [SUPER: “REASON #4: THE H&L BROCK DEDUCTION”] reason number four: the H&L Brock Deduction. [removes glasses] In 1957, an H&L Brock-owned congressman wrote into law a special $1000 deduction which can be claimed by people who have their taxes prepared by (pause) H&L Brock. You don’t have to be wealthy to use tricky loopholes; bring your taxes to H&L Brock- make the system work for you. [Brock puts the frame of his glasses in his mouth, letting them dangle] [SUPER: “H&L BROCK: THE TAX FRAUD PEOPLE]

[applause and fade]

Submitted Anonymously

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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