Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 12
H & L Brock II
Lowell Brock…John Belushi
[open on Lowell Brock’s office. Lowell is sitting in his chair, ripping scraps of paper out of a document with the header ‘TAX LAW’. He licks the scraps and puts them on his cheeks before noticing the camera, and quickly removes them].
Lowell Brock: Hi, I’m Lowell Brock, for H&L Brock, with more of my seventeen reasons why you should bring your taxes to us, instead of H&R Brock [Belushi muffs the last part of the line].
Reason number three: [SUPER: “REASON #3: WE PAY OFF IRS OFFICIALS”] we pay off Internal Revenue Service Officials. H&L Brock has been greasing palms in Washington for over 20 years, and all for your benefit. Take, for example, [SUPER: “REASON #4: THE H&L BROCK DEDUCTION”] reason number four: the H&L Brock Deduction. [removes glasses] In 1957, an H&L Brock-owned congressman wrote into law a special $1000 deduction which can be claimed by people who have their taxes prepared by (pause) H&L Brock. You don’t have to be wealthy to use tricky loopholes; bring your taxes to H&L Brock- make the system work for you. [Brock puts the frame of his glasses in his mouth, letting them dangle] [SUPER: “H&L BROCK: THE TAX FRAUD PEOPLE]