SNL Transcripts: Dick Cavett: 01/31/76: H & L Brock III


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 12

75l: Dick Cavett / Jimmy Cliff

H & L Brock III

Lowell Brock…John Belushi

[open on Lowell Brock sitting in his chair in office]

Lowell Brock: Hi, I’m Lowell Brock, for H&L Brock, with more of my seventeen reasons why you should bring your taxes to us, instead of H&R Block.

[SUPER: “REASON #5: WE HAVE CLOSE TIES WITH THE UNDERWORLD”] Reason number five: we have [smile starts to creep across John Belushi’s face as he reads lines, and he struggles to keep in character throughout the rest of the sketch] close ties with the underworld. Say an IRS official decides to audit you. An H&L Brock representative [takes off glasses] will accompany you to the IRS office and personally threaten the official. [SUPER: “REASON #6: EASY LOANS, CHEAP GOODS”] Reason number six: in addition to great breaks on taxes, [folds glasses] H&L Brock, you’ll get cheap stereo equipment, and easy term loans. Oh! Remember- [suppressing laughter] if I don’t worry about a crackdown, you shouldn’t. [scrunches cheeks with his fingers and makes faces]

[Cut to side camera angle where Lorne Michaels is seen crawling away from the chair in which Belushi is seated. Applause; Belushi rises and starts to walk away from the chair but is jerked back as his shoelaces are tied together. Belushi mutters ‘what the fuck’ and ‘goddamn’ as Bob Van Ry helps him out; Lorne rises from the ground on the edge of the set and retrieves his wineglass from the floor. Fade]

Submitted Anonymously

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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