SNL Transcripts: Desi Arnaz: 02/21/76: 40th Birthday

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 14






75n: Desi Arnaz / Desi Arnaz, Jr.

40th Birthday

Husband…..Chevy Chase
Wife…..Jane Curtin
Friends…..John Belushi, Gilda Radner, Alan Zweibel, Tom Schiller, Michael O’Donoghue, Neil Levy

[ open on couple sitting up in bed, lighting cigarettes in the dark ]

Wife: Look — it wasn’t your fault. You don’t have to feel bad about it.

Husband: [ scoffs ] You know, you don’t have to say that — I know what you’re thinking.

Wife: These things happen to ALL men.

Husband: [ he sighs ] Well, it’s never happened to me before.

Wife: Maybe you shouldn’t have had that extra drink on the way home.

Husband: Listen — if all it takes is one extra drink, I must be getting pretty old, don’t you think?

Wife: Well, what do you expect? You work too hard, you never get enough exercise — no wonder you couldn’t do your best.

Husband: Look, I’m 40 years old today. Maybe I just wanted to prove I can still —

Wife: Well, I just didn’t think it had anything to do with ME!

Husband: Come on… I came home early, I saw you standing here, your dress is half unzipped —

Wife: Yeah, but you picked the wrong moment.

Husband: What’s wrong with a little spontaneity?

Wife: You THREW me! That’s all! I just wasn’t in the mood! I had plans for this evening! But, NO — you come in here, you BURST in here, you throw me on the bed, and you just expect me to respond! Yuo just don’t understand. I wanted today to be special.

Husband: [ thinking ] Well… come on, it’s not over yet. There’s still a few hours left.

Wife: I thought maybe we could have some friends over, maybe have a little celebration.

Husband: I’m sorry if I spoiled your plans. I guess it was kind of the wrong time.

Wife: I’m sorry, too. Happy Birthday, Sweetheart.

Husband: Thanks.

[ they kiss, as the lights suddenly turn on and their friends pop out of hiding ]

Friends: SURPRISE!!!

[ zoom in on Husband’s stunned, embarrassed face ] [ pull out to studio wide shot, with SUPER: “Coming up Next… Sammy Davis Jr. Asks: Is There Showbusiness After Death?” ] [ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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