SNL Transcripts: Jill Clayburgh: 02/28/76: Jill Clayburgh’s Monologue



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 15




75o: Jill Clayburgh / Leon Redbone

Jill Clayburgh’s Monologue

… Don Pardo
… Jill Clayburgh

Don Pardo: Ladies and gentlemen, Jill Clayburgh!

Jill Clayburgh: Hi. Thank you! Thank you! Well, I’mreally happy to be tonight’s host. You know, I didn’tknow how to prepare for it. I mean, it’s livetelevision and most of the people connected with theshow are, uh, well, they’re my age and they don’t knowmuch more than I do about it. So I did, uh, well, itseemed to be the most sensible thing. I went right tothe one person who’s connected with the show who has,well, he has more experience in live television thananybody. He’s a wonderful gentlemen and his name isDon Pardo. [Applause.] And, uh … uh, you know, hewas the announcer on “Jeopardy!” and lots of otherprograms like that and I – I asked him to help me andoh, well, he couldn’t do enough. And the thing abouthim is that he’s not what you’d expect a game showannouncer to be. I mean, he has a really culturedbackground and, well, I had quite an evening with him.First, Don picked me up in his car.

Don Pardo: Not just any car, Jill! [dissolve to imageof an antique luxury car] That was a 1936 model [?]Coupe de Ville! Just one of the many antiqueautomobiles from the Don Pardo Classic Car Collection,silver-trimmed for comfort, taste and a smooth andeasy ride. Chicago six-oh-six-oh-eight! Jill? [cutback to Jill]

Jill Clayburgh: Yeah. Well, after he picked me up, uh,we took a drive to Don’s home. Oh, what a nice house.

Don Pardo: Jill, that’s the magnificent Pardo Manor inupstate New York, [dissolve to image of a hugemansion] thirty-six rooms of custom-designed FrenchNormandie elegance, one of the many of the Don Pardoassortment of fine homes. Chicago six-oh-six-oh-eight!Jill? [cut back to Jill]

Jill Clayburgh: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice house. Well, wewent inside and, oh, I saw all these wonderful worksof art. And I remember there was this one beautifulprint in particular–

Don Pardo: A print, Jill? Look again! [dissolve toimage of a painting] That’s an original Cezanne, his”Still Life with Plaster,” just one in the collectionof the Don Pardo French Masters Series. Chicagosix-oh-six-oh-eight! Jill? [cut back to Jill]

Jill Clayburgh: Well, after we dined, we discussed theshow and I met one of his sons.

Don Pardo: Not just any son, Jill, but young Don Pardothe Third! [dissolve to a photo of a young boy inriding clothes, holding a pony by the reins] Sevenyears of exciting life has been all his, educated atfine New York private schools and he’ll go on to suchschools as Andover, Harvard and Yale graduate school!Don is one of a set of five matching children from theDon Pardo Collection of Fine Youngsters! Chicagosix-oh-six-oh-eight! Jill? [cut back to Jill]

Jill Clayburgh: Yeah. You see what I mean? I mean, howmuch you can learn from a real pro? You know, that’sreally gonna help me. Thanks, Don!

Don Pardo: You’re welcome, Jill!

Jill Clayburgh: Well, we’ll be right back.

Submitted Anonymously

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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