Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 16
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:Bit Players:
March 13th, 1976
Anthony Perkins
Betty Carter
The Muppets
None
Alan Zweibel
Tom Davis
Neil Levy
Rosie Shuster
Al Franken
Tom Schiller
Season 1: Order Now!
A Word From Chevy
Summary: Chevy Chase rambles on as he denies charges that SNL pads material to fill for time.
Transcript
Montage
Anthony Perkins’ MonologueSummary: While trying to prove to the audience that he’s not creepy in real life, Anthony Perkins ends up eating a fly.
A President’s View on Marijuana IRecurring Characters: President Gerald Ford.
Hello, Dolly Therapy
Dominatrix CleaningSummary: A dominatrix (Jane Curtin) tries to reform sloppy housewife (Gilda Radner).
Norman Bates School of Hotel Management
Summary: Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) argues with his unseen mother while quizzing viewers on how to become a hotel manager.
Transcript
The MuppetsSummary: Scred and Ploobis ask Anthony Perkins to help get them back on “Saturday Night Live.”
Betty Carter performs “Music, Maestro, Please” & “Swing Brother Swing”
A President’s View on Marijuana IIRecurring Characters: President Gerald Ford.
Weekend Update with Chevy ChaseSummary: John Belushi ponders comparisons between lion and lamb during his weather rant. Emily Litella (Gilda Radner) speaks out against preserving natural “race horses.”
Recurring Characters: Emily Litella.
Land Scarcity
Affair With Co-Worker
A President’s View on Marijuana IIIRecurring Characters: President Gerald Ford.
Gary Weis Film
Sherry’s BeeSummary: Sherry (Laraine Newman) tells her teacher (Anthony Perkins) that she thinks she deserves better than a Bee (John Belushi) for her grade.
Recurring Characters: Sherry, Bee.
Post-Psycho Low-Budget Horror Movie Trailers
“P-Nut Fever”
Summary: A film by Phil Van De Carr.
Betty Carter performs “I Can’t Help It”
Butt County Dance Party
Summary: Sheriff Rick Phillips (Anthony Perkins) moderates a dance party for county teenagers and runs their names through the central computer to check for warrants.
Goodnights
Transcript
