Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 17
The Dead String Quartet II
First Violinist…..John Belushi
Second Violinist…..Laraine Newman
Third Violinist…..Garrett Morris
Cellist…..Chevy Chase
[ open on three violinist and one cellist seated in the middle of the apron the stage, seemingly asleep ]
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, once again — the Dead String Quartet.
[ SUPER: “The Dead String Quartet” ]
[ the audience slowly claps in recognition of this bit ]
[ Dead String Quartet remains perfectly still for a number of seconds, until First Violinist slowly keels over to his left, sound of his reed slipping across the violin strings as his body keels over ]
[ First Violinist bumps into Second Violinist, causing a similar reaction from her, as her reed slips over the violin strings and she keels into Third Violinist ]
[ Third Violinist’s body keels on into the Cellist, whose body and cello lean over to the edge of the stage ]
[ Cellist balances between his cello and the floor for a few seconds, before finally toppling over the apron and landing with a thud in the middle of the audience ]
[ cut to pre-taped footage of President Gerald R. Ford ]
President Gerald R. Ford: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”