SNL Transcripts: Madeline Kahn: 05/08/76: Madeline Kahn’s Monologue


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 19

75s: Madeline Kahn / Carly Simon

Madeline Kahn’s Monologue

…..Madeline Kahn

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Madeline Kahn!

Madeline Kahn: Oh, my my, my, my! Hello! And thank you, and, to get right to the point, what are we going to do, um — it’s Mother’s Day very soon — in a half-hour or so, it’ll be Mother’s Day — and what can we do? I mean, you know, there doesn’t seem to be any way to repay, you know, what a person’s mother gives. I mean, you know, my mother gave me birth — I don’t know about yous. And then, you know, I gave her a scarf. And sometimes she gives me strength, and I give her nothing. And it’s just very upsetting. And I didn’t do ANYTHING this time, because I’ve been so busy, so, um… I do have this wonderful opportunity, and perhaps I could speak for all of you — [ she smiles ] in singing a little something… to Mother. And, here it is:

[ singing ] “M is for the many things she gave me.
O is for the other things she gave me.
T is for the thousand things she gave me.
H is for the hundred things she gave me.
E is for everything she gave me.
R is for the rest of the things she gave me.
P is for the presents that she gave me.
Put them all together, they spell “MOTHERP.”
The one who means the world to me.”

[ she shrugs and smiles, as the audience applauds ]

We’ll be right back!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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