SNL Transcripts: Madeline Kahn: 05/08/76: Madeline Kahn’s Monologue


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 19

75s: Madeline Kahn / Carly Simon

Madeline Kahn’s Monologue

…..Madeline Kahn

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Madeline Kahn!

Madeline Kahn: Oh, my my, my, my! Hello! And thank you, and, to get right to the point, what are we going to do, um — it’s Mother’s Day very soon — in a half-hour or so, it’ll be Mother’s Day — and what can we do? I mean, you know, there doesn’t seem to be any way to repay, you know, what a person’s mother gives. I mean, you know, my mother gave me birth — I don’t know about yous. And then, you know, I gave her a scarf. And sometimes she gives me strength, and I give her nothing. And it’s just very upsetting. And I didn’t do ANYTHING this time, because I’ve been so busy, so, um… I do have this wonderful opportunity, and perhaps I could speak for all of you — [ she smiles ] in singing a little something… to Mother. And, here it is:

[ singing ] “M is for the many things she gave me.
O is for the other things she gave me.
T is for the thousand things she gave me.
H is for the hundred things she gave me.
E is for everything she gave me.
R is for the rest of the things she gave me.
P is for the presents that she gave me.
Put them all together, they spell “MOTHERP.”
The one who means the world to me.”

[ she shrugs and smiles, as the audience applauds ]

We’ll be right back!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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