SNL Transcripts: Dyan Cannon: 05/15/76: Johnny Angel



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 1: Episode 20









75t: Dyan Cannon / Leon & Mary Russell

Johnny Angel

Dad…..John Belushi
Mom…..Gilda Radner
Dyan…..Dyan Cannon
Hell’s Angel 1…..Garrett Morris
Hell’s Angel 2…..Dan Aykroyd
Hell’s Angel 3…..Chevy Chase

[ open on Mom and Dad seated on the couch in their living room ]

Mom: Dyan, honey!

Dyan: I’m coming, Mom!

[ Dyan runs down the stairs ]

Mom: Your father and I are NOT being difficult — it’s just that we like to meet all your dates, that’s all.

Dyan: But, Mother, I told you a THOUSAND times: today’s not a real date! No, it’s just a ride to the football game.

Dad: After you spent two hours fixing yourself up? Come on, do you expect us to believe that?

Dyan: Yeah, but, Dad, we’ve hardly spoken more than once, and I only got this ride because Judy’s brother asked for me. It really isn’t even a romance. You know something? To Johnny, I’m practically invisible.

Dad: And, yet, young lady, all we’ve heard this week is: “JOHNNY, JOHNNY, JOHNNY!”

Mom: “JOHNNY, JOHNNY, JOHNNY!” all week.

[ the doorbell rings, as three rugged members of the Hell’s Angels crash through the door ]

Dyan: Mom! Mom, Dad! These are my boyfriends! Johnny Angel!

[ the soundtrack pots up ]

Hell’s Angel 1: “Johnny Angellllll…”

Hell’s Angel 2: “Johnny Angellllll…”

Hell’s Angel 3: “Johnny Angellllll…”

Dyan: “You’re an Angel to me!”

[ Dyan continues to sing Johnny Angel, as the three Hell’s Angels begin to break various pieces of furniture, dynamite a wall safe, and tie her parents with rope and leave them on the floor ]

Dyan:
“Johnny Angel, how I love him.
He’s got something that I can’t resist,
But he doesn’t even know that I-I-I exist.

Johnny Angel, how I want him.
How I tingle when he passes by.
Every time he says “Hello”, my heart begins to fly.

I’m in Heaven, how I get carried away.
I think of him and me, and how it’s gonna be.
Other fellas ask me out for a date,
but I just sit and wait, I’d rather concentrate…

On Johnny Angel.
‘Cause I love him.
And I pray that someday he’ll love me.
And together we will see how lovely Heaven will be.

I’m in Heaven, how I get carried away.
I think of him and me, and how it’s gonna be.
Other fellas ask me out for a date,
but I just sit and wait, I’d rather concentrate…

On Johnny Angel.
‘Cause I love him.
And I pray that someday he’ll love me.
And together we will see how lovely Heaven will be.

Hell’s Angel 1: “Johnny Angellllll…”

Hell’s Angel 3: “Johnny Angellllll…”

Hell’s Angel 2: “Johnny Angellllll…”

Dyan: “You’re an Angel to me!”

[ the three Hell’s Angels lift Dyan over their shoulders and carry her up the stairs to her bedroom ] [ SUPER: “Coming Up Next… Pre-Natal Root Canal Therapy” ] [ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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