Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 20
75t: Dyan Cannon / Leon & Mary Russell
Johnny Angel
Dad…..John Belushi
Mom…..Gilda Radner
Dyan…..Dyan Cannon
Hell’s Angel 1…..Garrett Morris
Hell’s Angel 2…..Dan Aykroyd
Hell’s Angel 3…..Chevy Chase
[ open on Mom and Dad seated on the couch in their living room ]
Mom: Dyan, honey!
Dyan: I’m coming, Mom!
[ Dyan runs down the stairs ]
Mom: Your father and I are NOT being difficult — it’s just that we like to meet all your dates, that’s all.
Dyan: But, Mother, I told you a THOUSAND times: today’s not a real date! No, it’s just a ride to the football game.
Dad: After you spent two hours fixing yourself up? Come on, do you expect us to believe that?
Dyan: Yeah, but, Dad, we’ve hardly spoken more than once, and I only got this ride because Judy’s brother asked for me. It really isn’t even a romance. You know something? To Johnny, I’m practically invisible.
Dad: And, yet, young lady, all we’ve heard this week is: “JOHNNY, JOHNNY, JOHNNY!”
Mom: “JOHNNY, JOHNNY, JOHNNY!” all week.
[ the doorbell rings, as three rugged members of the Hell’s Angels crash through the door ]
Dyan: Mom! Mom, Dad! These are my boyfriends! Johnny Angel!
[ the soundtrack pots up ]
Hell’s Angel 1: “Johnny Angellllll…”
Hell’s Angel 2: “Johnny Angellllll…”
Hell’s Angel 3: “Johnny Angellllll…”
Dyan: “You’re an Angel to me!”
[ Dyan continues to sing Johnny Angel, as the three Hell’s Angels begin to break various pieces of furniture, dynamite a wall safe, and tie her parents with rope and leave them on the floor ]
Dyan:
“Johnny Angel, how I love him.
He’s got something that I can’t resist,
But he doesn’t even know that I-I-I exist.
Johnny Angel, how I want him.
How I tingle when he passes by.
Every time he says “Hello”, my heart begins to fly.
I’m in Heaven, how I get carried away.
I think of him and me, and how it’s gonna be.
Other fellas ask me out for a date,
but I just sit and wait, I’d rather concentrate…
On Johnny Angel.
‘Cause I love him.
And I pray that someday he’ll love me.
And together we will see how lovely Heaven will be.
I’m in Heaven, how I get carried away.
I think of him and me, and how it’s gonna be.
Other fellas ask me out for a date,
but I just sit and wait, I’d rather concentrate…
On Johnny Angel.
‘Cause I love him.
And I pray that someday he’ll love me.
And together we will see how lovely Heaven will be.
Hell’s Angel 1: “Johnny Angellllll…”
Hell’s Angel 3: “Johnny Angellllll…”
Hell’s Angel 2: “Johnny Angellllll…”
Dyan: “You’re an Angel to me!”
[ the three Hell’s Angels lift Dyan over their shoulders and carry her up the stairs to her bedroom ]
[ SUPER: “Coming Up Next… Pre-Natal Root Canal Therapy” ]
[ fade ]
