SNL Transcripts: Dyan Cannon: 05/15/76: Florida Orange Juice

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 20

75t: Dyan Cannon / Leon & Mary Russell

Florida Orange Juice

Anita Bryant…..Jane Curtin
Terrorist 1…..John Belushi
Terrorist 2…..Dan Aykroyd

[ open on exterior, Holiday Inn burning, sounds of gunshots being fired ] [ cut to footage of terrorists firing guns ] [ dissolve to close-up of Anita Bryant, smiling ]

Anita Bryant: What’s a florida sunshine girl like me doing in Beirut? Spreading the good word about orange juice, that’s what!

[ pull back to reveal Anita tied to a stake, as terrorists holding a pitcjer of orange juice appear at her sides ]

Anita Bryant: Hi, I’m Anita Bryant! Sure there’s war, strife, and bloodshed in the Middle East. Eternal chaos can be a hassle! But even this war-toen country enjoys Florida sunshine!

[ one of the terrorists holds a glass of orange juice to Anita’s lips and lets her drink, as the other terrorists bites into unpeeled oranges ]

Anita Bryant: Mmm, that’s good! It’s refreshing and has Vitamin C. So why not get with it? People all over the world are enjoying the natural freshness of orange juice! So… [ singing ] “Come to the Florida sunshine…”

[ the second terrorists covers Anita’s face with a burlap sack ] [ the first terrorist gives the firing squad a command to open fire ] [ Anita’s limp body leans forward as she’s shot ]

Terrorist 2: What do we do with the body?

Terrorist 1: Uhhh — bury her in the space we have reserved for the Pope.

[ fade ]

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