SNL Transcripts: Dyan Cannon: 05/15/76: Florida Orange Juice


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 20

75t: Dyan Cannon / Leon & Mary Russell

Florida Orange Juice

Anita Bryant…..Jane Curtin
Terrorist 1…..John Belushi
Terrorist 2…..Dan Aykroyd

[ open on exterior, Holiday Inn burning, sounds of gunshots being fired ] [ cut to footage of terrorists firing guns ] [ dissolve to close-up of Anita Bryant, smiling ]

Anita Bryant: What’s a florida sunshine girl like me doing in Beirut? Spreading the good word about orange juice, that’s what!

[ pull back to reveal Anita tied to a stake, as terrorists holding a pitcjer of orange juice appear at her sides ]

Anita Bryant: Hi, I’m Anita Bryant! Sure there’s war, strife, and bloodshed in the Middle East. Eternal chaos can be a hassle! But even this war-toen country enjoys Florida sunshine!

[ one of the terrorists holds a glass of orange juice to Anita’s lips and lets her drink, as the other terrorists bites into unpeeled oranges ]

Anita Bryant: Mmm, that’s good! It’s refreshing and has Vitamin C. So why not get with it? People all over the world are enjoying the natural freshness of orange juice! So… [ singing ] “Come to the Florida sunshine…”

[ the second terrorists covers Anita’s face with a burlap sack ] [ the first terrorist gives the firing squad a command to open fire ] [ Anita’s limp body leans forward as she’s shot ]

Terrorist 2: What do we do with the body?

Terrorist 1: Uhhh — bury her in the space we have reserved for the Pope.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments