Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 21
Chevy On Crutches
Chevy Chase: Uh.. good evening, everybody. I’m afraid I have some disheartening news, for some of you. Uh.. unfortunately, I’ve inured my leg earlier this week, accepting an Emmy Award – uh, thank you.. very much. [ audience chuckles ] And, uh, it may be broken, I haven’t had it X-rayed yet, but, um.. Actually, I have had it X-rayed, I haven’t seen the X-rays. Anyway, obviously, I can’t do a fall for you, and, uh.. I wanted to do the opening fall.
However.. Laraine Newman – one of the Not Ready For Prime Time Players – has very graciously consented to do, uh.. the fall, instead. She’s gonna fall over this table to my right. I say gracious because.. the entire show, the entire staff of the show has been very, really terrific about my winning, uh, the Emmy – thank you again. [ audience chuckles ] There has been no enmity, no hostility, no jealousy. They’ve just been very warm and natural, and, uh.. congratulated me.
And I must say, even Laraine, uh.. who I, at times, thought didn’t maybe even like me that much, has actually volunteered and consented to come and do the fall. And I — some kind of pratfall, I don’t know what it will be. Of course, it won’t be as good as.. uh, my falls. But that’s not.. her fault. She’s not trained at that. She’s a mime, I believe. She’s a woman. Of course, women are clearly.. not built that way. They’re not built for physical schtick, or physical falling, and that kind of stuff. Physical comedy. So, I understand the hissing and all that. It’s just a fact, they’re just not built. So, as I say, anyway, she probably won’t be as good as me – the winner. Uh.. but.. uh, she’s gonna give it her all, I imagine. And, uh.. well, why don’t you give it a shot, Laraine?
Chevy Chase: Thank you once again.
Laraine Newman: Thank you for this opportunity, Chevy.
Chevy Chase: Oh, you’re welcome.
Chevy Chase: [ pushes the broken card table off his body ] “Live! From New York! It’s Saturday Night!”