Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 22
May 29th, 1976
Season 1: Order Now! Wax MuseumSummary: A pervert (Chevy Chase) gets his kicks touching and flashing the statues (Laraine Newman, Neil Levy, Jane Curtin, Gilda Radner) at a wax museum.
Elliot Gould’s MonologueSummary: To set the mood for tonight’s show, Elliott Gould sings the old standard “Anything Goes”.
First Hosted: 75i.
Academy of Better CareersSummary: Now you can be a stand-by operator, too.
Note: Repeat from 10/11/75.
Poker GameSummary: Because of his extreme southern hospitality and gullible graciousness, Mr. Russo (Dan Aykroyd) is honored to be taken advantage of by Mr. Diarga (Chevy Chase) and his interpretor (Elliott Gould) during a friendly high-stakes poker game.
Babs’ UvulaSummary: Babs’ (Gilda Radner) doctor (Chevy Chase) tells her that she’s let her uvula go to the dogs.
Leon Redbone performs “Shine On Harvest Moon”
The Last Voyage of the Starship EnterpriseSummary: The crew of the Starship Enterprise are wary of a mysterious car following them through space. Unable to escape the strange pursuit, the car’s occupants, NBC executive Herb Goodman (Elliot Gould) and his associates, soon enter the Starship Enterprise, whereupon they announce that the “Star Trek” series has been cancelled. The crew accepts this proclamation, but William Shatner (John Belushi) hangs on to his persona as Captain Kirk, determined to get his crew out of this unexpected twist, even as NBC executives dismantle the set around him.
Recurring Characters: Captain James T. Kirk, Scotty, Mr. Sulu, Dr. McCoy, Herb Goodman.
Weekend Update with Chevy ChaseSummary: Chevy makes faces during Audrey Peart-Dickman’s (Jane Curtin) patriotic Bicentennial commentary. Emily Litella (Gilda Radner) helps Chevy Chase repeat the evening’s “flop” news story.
Note: Audrey Peart-Dickman is also the name of the show’s Associate Producer.
Recurring Characters: Emily Litella.
Vibramatic Personal MassagerSummary: The personal massager that slices and dices vegetables for a husband’s (Elliott Gould) midnight salad, while working as a comforting sleep aid and relaxer for his wife (Laraine Newman).
Shirley Temple BlackSummary: As the new anbassador to Ghana, Shirley Temple Black (Laraine Newman) breaks into a melody of “Hi Neighbor.
Gary Weis FilmSummary: In a film by Gary Weis, Elliott Gould sits in as kids learn old vaudeville acts at “Uncle Charlie’s School.”
The HoneymoonersSummary: The Bees portray “The Honeymooners”, with Ralph (John Belushi) and Alice (Gilda Radner) getting into a fight before she reveals her pregnancy.
Recurring Characters: Bees.
Leon Redbone performs “Walking Stick”
Show Us Your GunsSummary: In a parody of the Lark cigarette commercials, SNL’s film truck passes through the city streets asking to see citizens’ firearms.
Note: Repeat from 10/11/75.
Harlan Collins & Joyce Everson perform “Heaven Only Knows”