Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 1: Episode 24
July 31st, 1976
Season 1: Order Now! Help Me Make It Through The NightSummary: Kris Kristofferson sings “Help Me Make It Through the Night, while Chevy Chase makes it through the night with his wife, Rita Coolidge.
Kris Kristofferson’s Monologue
I Was Not A Sucker For Saturday NightSummary: Sherry (Laraine Newman) has written a tell-all book about her experiences serving as intern to SNL’s writing staff.
Recurring Characters: Sherry.
Samurai General PractitionerSummary: Futaba (John Belushi) administers a physical to Kris Kristofferson.
Recurring Characters: Futaba.
Rita Coolidge performs “Hula Hoop”
The Great White AthleteSummary: Jesse Owens (Garrett Morris) is selling medals that formerly belonged to white athletes.
Mississippi DelegateSummary: Mississippi delegate Frank Wade (Kris Kristofferson) asks President Gerald R. Ford (Chevy Chase) to side with him on a bill.
Recurring Characters: President Gerald Ford, Betty Ford.
Police StateSummary: A pair of police officers (Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd) go after criminals with a no-holds-barred style.
Weekend Update with Chevy ChaseSummary: Laraine Newman accidentally reports live from Nassau instead of from NASA.
Talk CountrySummary: Kris Kristofferson plugs the book that taught him how to talk like a good ol’ boy.
Bobbi McGeeSummary: Kris Kristofferson sings a few bars of Me and Bobby McGee”, then brings out the young woman (Gilda Radner) who inspired the tune and learns that she has since married a man named Larry Farber (John Belushi).
Recurring Characters: Bobbi Farber, Larry Farber.
Gynecologist Blind DateSummary: Judy (Jane Curtin) is uncomfortable when she finds out her friend has set her up on a blind date with her own gynecologist (Kris Kristofferson).
Kris Kristofferson & Rita Coolidge perform “Eddie the Eunuch”
Praising CarterSummary: Andrew Young (Garrett Morris) speaks highly of presidential candidate Jimmy Carter (Dan Aykroyd), in the hopes of being asked to join his administration.
Recurring Characters: Andrew Yuong, Jimmy Carter.
Waiting For PardoSummary: Bob (Chevy Chase) and Bill (Kris Kristofferson) await the arrival of the mythic Don Pardo.
Kris Kristofferson performs “I’ve Got a Life of My Own”