SNL Transcripts: Kris Kristofferson: 07/31/76: The Great White Athlete

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 1: Episode 24

75x: Kris Kristofferson / Rita Coolidge

The Great White Athlete

Jesse Owens…..Garrett Morris
Announcer…..Don Pardo

[Gray-haired Jesse Owens, the legendaryAfrican-American track athlete who dominated the 1936Olympics, sits in a chair, wearing a suit and tie andaddresses the camera]

Jesse Owens: Hello, I’m Jesse Owens, here to make youan offer of lasting value. For a limited time only,the American Olympic Committee together with thegovernment of Canada are offering these beautifulOlympic medallions, [holds up the medallions]commemorating some of the last of a dying breed: theGreat White Athlete. For only forty-five dollars, youcan own the entire set with white heroes of hockey,swimming and spear-chucking– umm… I mean, javelinthrow. Hurry and send in now while they last, honky.

[A superimposition reads: Great White Athletes Box1976 Johannesburg, S. Africa]

Announcer: That’s “Great White Athlete” — Box 1976Johannesburg, South Africa.

Submitted Anonymously

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