SNL Transcripts: Norman Lear: 09/25/76: Chevy’s Girls


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 2: Episode 2

76b: Norman Lear / Boz Scaggs

Chevy’s Girls

…..Norman Lear
…..Jane Curtin
…..Laraine Newman
…..Gilda Radner

Norman Lear: As you all know, Chevy Chase isn’t here tonight. Wethought it might not matter. But as the week went on, I noticed somethingwas missing. I didn’t know quite what it was, but there was a lack.. a void.And no one, no one among us, could figure out what it was.. and I wasthinking.. [ pratfalls ] ..about it. And it’s quite possible that’s what itwas. Well, I feel better now, I hope you feel better too, Chevy.

[ dissolve to Chevy on the cover of Photoplay magazine, with Jane Curtin, Laraine Newman, and Gilda Radner appearing over his shoulder ] [ zoom on the girls, then dissolve to them in the studio ]

Chevy’s Girls: [ singing ]“When he’s doing “Update”, my heart stands still.
When he says that Franco’s still dead, I could die!”

Gilda Radner:
“When he talks dirty on that phone, it’s like he’s talking to me.
I go to pieces when he sneezes in his tie!”

Chevy’s Girls:
“When he does Gerald Ford, you know I’m never bored.
He says, “No problem”, but I wish that he could see.”

Laraine Newman:
“There is a problem, mine, because I want him so.
And if he takes me in his arms, there would be…”

Chevy’s Girls:
“Chevy! Chevy, I love when you fall down!
Each Saturday Night on my T.V.
Oh, but Chevy, everytime you take that fall,
I wish you that you falling, falling for me.

I know this shouldn’t be said, I wish his girlfriend were dead.
Her tragic “accidental” death I scheme and plot!”

Jane Curtin: “So when in heaven we meet, I will be able to say…”

Chevy’s Girls: “‘Hi, I’m Mrs. Chevy Chase and you’re not!”

Chevy! Chevy, I love when you fall down!
Each Saturday Night on my T.V.”

Laraine Newman: “Oh, but Chevy, everytime you take that fall..”

Chevy’s Girls: “I wish that you were falling…”

Laraine Newman: “Falling for me.”

Gilda Radner: One day, he came into my dressing room.

Jane and Laraine: Do tell!

Gilda Radner: He asked for a match, and I felt my heart swoon!

Jane and Laraine: Then what happened?

Gilda Radner: The show began, he turned around to go, and said goodbye…

Jane and Laraine: Oh no!

Gilda Radner: I asked him to stay, I thought I would die!

Jane and Laraine: Look out! Look out! Look out!

Gilda Radner: He crashed into a wall and there was nothing I could do about it.

Chevy’s Girls:
“Chevy! Chevy, I love when you fall down!
Each Saturday night on my T.V.”

“Oh, but Chevy, everytime you take that fall,”
I wish that you were falling…

Chevy’s Girls: “Falling for me!”

[ dissolve back to the cover of Photoplay magazine ] [ dissolve to wide shot of the audience, zoom in on man with SUPER: “Mentally Undressing Self” ] [ fade ]

Submitted by: Michael Cauley

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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4 years ago

I’ve wrote multiple parodies of this one over the years. When I was little in 2008 it was a Sonic version with Amy, Sally, and Mina as the singers and probably the most known one. I wrote some other Amy, Sally, and Mina songs back then too. Then it was a Touhou parody in September 2018 where Marisa, Yukari, and Sanae sang about Reimu. Now it’s a DC version where Variant, Wonder Woman, and Sarah Simms sing about Cyborg. Because Cyborg is hot (and plus that style of music fits him. I notice the televised version has some crazy drum fills like Motown, while the live version on the album is more of a Spector style song.)

Reply to  Danielle
4 years ago

The Touhou parody followed the original lyrics more, and I grew up with the lyrics I heard, so I decided to write the DC version based off the lyrics of the first parody from 2008.

(Fun fact: The Touhou version mentioned Cyborg too.)

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