Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 2: Episode 2
Chevy’s Girls
…..Norman Lear
…..Jane Curtin
…..Laraine Newman
…..Gilda Radner
Norman Lear: As you all know, Chevy Chase isn’t here tonight. Wethought it might not matter. But as the week went on, I noticed somethingwas missing. I didn’t know quite what it was, but there was a lack.. a void.And no one, no one among us, could figure out what it was.. and I wasthinking.. [ pratfalls ] ..about it. And it’s quite possible that’s what itwas. Well, I feel better now, I hope you feel better too, Chevy.
[ dissolve to Chevy on the cover of Photoplay magazine, with Jane Curtin, Laraine Newman, and Gilda Radner appearing over his shoulder ] [ zoom on the girls, then dissolve to them in the studio ]Chevy’s Girls: [ singing ]“When he’s doing “Update”, my heart stands still.
When he says that Franco’s still dead, I could die!”
Gilda Radner:
“When he talks dirty on that phone, it’s like he’s talking to me.
I go to pieces when he sneezes in his tie!”
Chevy’s Girls:
“When he does Gerald Ford, you know I’m never bored.
He says, “No problem”, but I wish that he could see.”
Laraine Newman:
“There is a problem, mine, because I want him so.
And if he takes me in his arms, there would be…”
Chevy’s Girls:
“Chevy! Chevy, I love when you fall down!
Each Saturday Night on my T.V.
Oh, but Chevy, everytime you take that fall,
I wish you that you falling, falling for me.
I know this shouldn’t be said, I wish his girlfriend were dead.
Her tragic “accidental” death I scheme and plot!”
Jane Curtin: “So when in heaven we meet, I will be able to say…”
Chevy’s Girls: “‘Hi, I’m Mrs. Chevy Chase and you’re not!”
Chevy! Chevy, I love when you fall down!
Each Saturday Night on my T.V.”
Laraine Newman: “Oh, but Chevy, everytime you take that fall..”
Chevy’s Girls: “I wish that you were falling…”
Laraine Newman: “Falling for me.”
Gilda Radner: One day, he came into my dressing room.
Jane and Laraine: Do tell!
Gilda Radner: He asked for a match, and I felt my heart swoon!
Jane and Laraine: Then what happened?
Gilda Radner: The show began, he turned around to go, and said goodbye…
Jane and Laraine: Oh no!
Gilda Radner: I asked him to stay, I thought I would die!
Jane and Laraine: Look out! Look out! Look out!
Gilda Radner: He crashed into a wall and there was nothing I could do about it.
Chevy’s Girls:
“Chevy! Chevy, I love when you fall down!
Each Saturday night on my T.V.”
Jane:
“Oh, but Chevy, everytime you take that fall,”
I wish that you were falling…
Chevy’s Girls: “Falling for me!”
Submitted by: Michael Cauley
I’ve wrote multiple parodies of this one over the years. When I was little in 2008 it was a Sonic version with Amy, Sally, and Mina as the singers and probably the most known one. I wrote some other Amy, Sally, and Mina songs back then too. Then it was a Touhou parody in September 2018 where Marisa, Yukari, and Sanae sang about Reimu. Now it’s a DC version where Variant, Wonder Woman, and Sarah Simms sing about Cyborg. Because Cyborg is hot (and plus that style of music fits him. I notice the televised version has some crazy drum fills like Motown, while the live version on the album is more of a Spector style song.)
The Touhou parody followed the original lyrics more, and I grew up with the lyrics I heard, so I decided to write the DC version based off the lyrics of the first parody from 2008.
(Fun fact: The Touhou version mentioned Cyborg too.)