SNL Transcripts: Norman Lear: 09/25/76: Chevy’s Telephone Fall



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 2: Episode 2







76b: Norman Lear / Boz Scaggs

Chevy’s Telephone Fall

…..Gilda Radner
…..Chevy Chase (voice)

[ open on Gilda Radner sitting behind a desk ]

Gilda Radner: Hi, I’m Gilda Radner. This is the part of the show where we usually do a short scene, and, at the end of it, Chevy takes a fall and then he says, “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!” But I’m afraid I have some bad news for you – right now, CHevy’s in the hospital. You see, last week during the Ford-Carter Debate, he fell and he hurt himself, making America laugh. And, uh.. I guess even though he won’t be here tonight, the show has to go on.. I mean.. he’d want it that way. So, I’m just gonna go ahead and do the scene that Chevy and I rehearsed, and, uh.. start the show, okay?

[ stands up, looks toward burned-out light ]

Chevy! That light burned out again, can you come and fix it? Oh, never mind – I’ll do it! [ she starts to climb ladder ] [ phone rings; Gilda climbs down and answers it ]Hello?

Voice of Chevy Chase: [ coughing ] Uh.. Gilda?

[ show image of Chevy laying in hospital bed with phone to ear, SUPER: “Voice of Chevy Chase” ]

Gilda Radner: Chevy! Chevy, how are you?

Voice of Chevy Chase: I’m okay. Can you hear me okay?

Gilda Radner: Yeah, I can hear you.

Voice of Chevy Chase: Uh.. I was watching, uh, you know, the “Donald O’Connor Story” on Channel 2, and I flipped the channel-changer, and I saw the show was starting..

Gilda Radner: Yeah.

Voice of Chevy Chase: I’m a little groggy here, but, uh.. I thought maybe you were gonna do a fall or something, and I wanted to make sure you didn’t do it..

Gilda Radner: Oh, no, but Chevy, I want to do it.

Voice of Chevy Chase: Gilda, I don’t.. uh.. want to get in the way.. but I don’t want you to do the fall, it’s too dangerous..

Gilda Radner: No..

Voice of Chevy Chase: I can just tell from what happened to me..

Gilda Radner: Yeah.. no, but, Chevy, nobody could think of anything else to do to open the show.

Voice of Chevy Chase: Can’t you sing or dance, or anything?

Gilda Radner: Chevy, look – it’s not dangerous, and I’m gonna do it. Don’t you worry about it, okay? You just rest.

Voice of Chevy Chase: Gilda, I just..

Gilda Radner: Okay, bye bye! Bye bye, Chevy!

[ hangs up phone, and returns to scene ]

Oh, Chevy, look – that light burned out again.. um.. I’ll go fix it myself.. [ climbs ladder ] [ phone rings again; Gilda climbs down and answers it ]

Hello?

Voice of Chevy Chase: [ coughing ] Gilda?

[ show second image of Chevy laying in hospital bed with phone to ear, SUPER: “Voice of Chevy Chase” ]

Gilda Radner: Who.. who is it?

Voice of Chevy Chase: Gilda, listen.. this is Chevy again.

Gilda Radner: Oh.

Voice of Chevy Chase: Listen, honey, listen to me closely..

Gilda Radner: Yeah.

Voice of Chevy Chase: First of all, no one’s gonna believe that light bulb thing.. and, second of all, I have a great idea, and this is kind of gonna save us both here, so.. Are you listening closely?

Gilda Radner: Yeah.

Voice of Chevy Chase: Alright, I want you to sit down. Are you sitting down?

Gilda Radner: Yeah, I’m sitting down.

Voice of Chevy Chase: I can see you now – you look lovely.

Gilda Radner: Thank you!

Voice of Chevy Chase: Uh.. take the phone..

Gilda Radner: Yeah.

Voice of Chevy Chase: Take the phone away from your ear, and just put the receiver on the desk.. but stand it upright, you know? Like on its wire.

Gilda Radner: Oh, like this?

Voice of Chevy Chase: Can you hear me? Can you hear me through the earpiece?

Gilda Radner: Yeah, I can har you.

Voice of Chevy Chase: Okay. See the sign in front of you?

Gilda Radner: Yeah?

Voice of Chevy Chase: Your name sign? Your name plate?

Gilda Radner: Yeah?

Voice of Chevy Chase: Take it out of the way, so everybody can see you.

Gilda Radner: Okay.

Voice of Chevy Chase: Now, what I want you to do is, walk the phone, walk it along the edge of the table, across the table there, okay? Like a muppet.

Gilda Radner: Like a muppet?

Voice of Chevy Chase: Yeah. JUst strt walking.. [ as Gilda “walks” the phone ] “Hi-ho, hi-ho.. it’s off to work I go..” Gilda? Gilda, can you hear me?

Gilda Radner: Yeah! Yes!

Voice of Chevy Chase: Alright, at the ednge of the desk, just put your hand out and trip me, okay?

Gilda Radner: Okay, I’ve got you! [ “trips” phone, dropping it over the desk’s edge ] [ camera closes in on the phone dangling over the desk’s edge ]

Voice of Chevy Chase: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!”

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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Danielle Pluzsik

I love this episode!