Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 2: Episode 3
Drag Racing Today
[ open on stock footage of crowds swarming the stands at a race track ] [ SUPER: “Drag Racing Today” ] [ Dan Aykroyd and Eric Idle, dressed in drag, approach the starting line and take their stances ] [ the starting pistol fires ] [ Dan and Eric run down the track in their high heels, until, at race’s end, Dan is first to cross the finish line ] [ a reporter holds a microphone to Dan’s face ]
Dan Aykroyd: I, uh — feel it’s still not working.
Eric Idle: Of course it’s working! They’re laughing!
Dan Aykroyd: How do you know they’re laughing? We’re on film.
Eric Idle: [ stunned by this information ] Oh, that’s right. Well, let’s listen.[ they press their ears closer to the screen ]
Eric Idle: I don’t hear them laughing.
Dan Aykroyd: No.
Eric Idle: [ dejected ] Shall we go?
Dan Aykroyd: I guess so.[ they turn from the camera and walk away, dropping their feather boas to the ground in shame ] [ dissolve to audience shot, zoom in on a man with SUPER: “Doomed” ] [ fade ]