Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 2: Episode 3
Disc Jockey…..Dan Aykroyd
[ open on Disc Jockey sitting in radio booth between two turntables, one each on AM and FM side of booth ]
Announcer: Good morning. Now radio station KLOG commences its programming day. KLOG is a division of BoardCo Communications. The policy of KLOG and KLOG-FM is to give you, the listener, the best in both AM and FM entertainment. We wish you a good morning and a nice day.
Jingle: “Coming or going
or just in the race.
Stay with KLOG
’cause Casey’s on the case.”
Disc Jockey: [ on the AM station ] Hey, good morning! It’s Kid Casey Wake-Up Time! Driving to work or school, having breakfast, or just doing some crazy morning things around the house, Casey’s on the case! I’m Kid Casey! I’ll be here ’til noon with a few words, a little music, and of course the Pasternak Air Hammer Giveaway Day contest later on! Here’s a tune to get you moving and grooving on this sunny Friday morning. An old one from Tony Orlando & Dawn, “Candida”! Some gold!
Ohhhkayyy.. yeah. That was the Moody Blues for our morning. Morning, as always the first awakening, I’m Kenneth Wardell on KLOG-FM, mellowing out your morning with some really good sound. We have music – I’m a little high right now – and I’m looking forward to an interview with Peter Kris, the drummer from Kiss. He’s gonna tell us how he chose the cat make-up. Here’s something newwww from Aerosmith.[ switches to the AM station ]
Yeah! “Candida”! Hey, Mom, here’s the word about Wally Winky Wonderloaf, the nutritious whitemilk bread. The people at Wally Winky Bakeries put loving care and pride into every loaf they bake. Every Wally Winky Wonderloaf is made from white refined milk flour and milk flour substitute to give your growing family the important nutrition they need! So get your youngsters Wally Winky Wonderloaf today! And let’s watch out now for that “Devil Woman”![ switches to the FM station ]
Yeaaahhhh.. Aerosmith on KLOG-FM. You know, many nutritionists and doctors agree that bread made with white refined milk flour and milk powder substitute is no good for us. Most agree that whole wheat is an excellent source of protein. That’s why the people at Earth Source Graineries use only whole grain and unmmilk wheat in their headbread. Headbread, for a pure source of nutrition and nourishment. Nowww.. Led Zeppelin, “Stairway”..[ switches to the AM station ]
Yeah, alright! Don’t let that “Devil Woman” get you! You know, Ring Audio has everything you need in stereo components, CB radios, aerials, car radios, tape decks, turntables, amplifiers, speakers and CDs! All name brands at great prices! That’s Ring Audio, 880 Storm Blvd, ask for Gary, tell ’em Crazy Kid Casey sent you! And, if you dig disco, you’re realy gonna dig the “Fifth”! It’s moving up there on the KLOG hit mix survey![ switches to the FM station ]
Yeahhhh.. do your big speakers keep getting you evicted? Then why not visit Stairway to Headphones? Stairway To Headphones deals only in quality headphones, and motorcycle and football helmets, all wired for sound. Stairway to Headphones, 880 Storm Blvd, ask for Gary, tell him Kenneth Wardell, KLOG-FM sent you. Here’sss Black Sabbath.[ switches to the AM station ]
Okay! Alright! Hey, the KLOG traffic copter reports traffic’s badly tied up on Route 9, a lot of cars are backed up there! Take the passoff instead. Hey, the student council at Rose Cage High School in Summit asked me to say a few words about their Art Fair! The kids are having an Art Fair there, it’s in the gym! Thursday night from 8PM, and the kids have really worked hard on the art, and they’d sure appreciate a little support. The money’s for Rose Cage High and Summit, there’s gonna be a lot of good art there! And here’s something to take us up to news time with Bernie Phillips – “The Antler Dance”, taking us to KLOG News with Bernie Phillips!
Yeahhhh.. Black Sabbath. I guess all you folks who got out to the Dead concert last night at Wildcat Stadium kinda know where my head’s at today. But, hey, you know, I heard the City Council might cancel all rock concerts because of damage done to the astroturf. If you have to smoke cigarettes, put them in your beer can or carry an ashtray. If you smoke anything else, smoke it, then eat it. It won’t kill you, but cigarettes will. It’s a shame this kind of thing is still going on. I guess some of us didn’t learn anything from the 60’s. Hey, we’re coming up to news time right now with Bernie Phillips, let’s find out. I’m gonna take a little break and find out what’s happening in the news with Bernie Phillips at the KLOG News Center.
Announcer: And now, KLOG News with Bernie Phillips.
Disc Jockey: [ grabs both AM and FM microphones ] I’m Bernie Phillips, and this is the KLOG News. Precautionary measures continue to be taken against the swine flu threat![ fade ]