SNL Transcripts: Steve Martin: 10/23/76: Autumn in New York


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 2: Episode 5

76e: Steve Martin / Kinky Friedman

Autumn in New York

[FADE IN on Gary Weis standing in front of a window inside a skyscraper which looks out on the Manhattan skyline. He is wearing a dark leisure suit with a burgundy shirt underneath. The collar stands out prominently.]

Up here, on the 27th floor,
I look down on the city I hate and adore.

[CUT to Weis standing under a marqee advertising “NEW YORK’S FINEST ADULT BOOK STORE… 25¢ MOVIE ARCADE. He starts lip-synching to the old standard, “Autumn in New York.”]

Weis: “It’s autumn in New York…”

[After Weis walks away, a long-haired man in a green parka strolls toward the camera arm-in-arm with someone who looks androgynous, in a denim jacket and a stocking cap.]

Man on Left: “That brings the promise of new love…”

[They amble past the camera, and then CUT to Weis lip-synching in front of a store window labeled, “BADLANDS.”]

Weis: “Aaaaauuuuutumn in New York…”

[CUT to a curly-headed man in sunglasses and a leather jacket who rounds the corner of the store with a dog on a leash. He lip-synchs to a woman’s voice.]

Man: “It’s often mingled with pain.”

[HOLD on this man for a moment, then CUT to a pretzel vendor in a stocking cap standing next to his cart.]

Vendor: “Glittering crowds and shimmering clouds…”

[CUT to a cab driver in sunglasses as he leans out the driver’s side window in the middle of the street. Buses stream through the intersection a few cars ahead.]

“And canyons of steel,
They’re making me feel
I’m home…”

[CUT to a flag reading, “The New York Stock Exchange.” Frank Sinatra can be heard singing, “Dreamers with empty hands…” PAN down to a blond-haired man walking down the sidewalk in a powder blue suit and a white tie. He carries a white briefcase and lip-synchs as he saunters gracefully past.]

Pedestrian: “They sigh for exotic lands.”

[CUT to Weis wearing the same outfit and leaning against a lamppost in Central Park.]

Weis: “Autumn in New York…”

[CUT to a long shot of a crowded sidewalk. An older man in a trenchcoat and another in a Yankees warmup jacket are among the pedestrians, several of whom stare blankly at the camera. An easy-listening chorus resembling Fred Waring and His Pennsylvanians sings on the background track.]

Chorus: “It’s good to live it agaaaaaaaaainnnnn…”

[CUT to a younger man in a thick beard and a red windbreaker sitting next to a white-haired lady on a park bench. They lip-synch to tracks of a man and a woman, respectively.]

Man: “Lovers that pass the dark…”

Woman: “On benches in Central Paaa-aaaark…”

[CUT to a deserted park pathway. The singer on the track croons, “Greet autumn in New Yoooo-oooooooork…” CUT to Weis standing on a ferry in the same suit with a polar bear head costume over his head. He nods slowly in time to Johnny Mathis’s voice on the track.]

Johnny Mathis: “It’s good to live it again.”

[PAN over to the Manhattan skyline as seen from the river as Weis steps out of the shot. FADE to the applauding studio audience. ZOOM in on a young blonde woman in a brown-red sweater and SUPERIMPOSE, “WONDERING WHAT TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT.” She acknowledges the camera shyly and continues to clap. FADE to black.]

Submitted by: Sean

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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