SNL Transcripts: Steve Martin: 10/23/76: Autumn in New York

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 2: Episode 5

76e: Steve Martin / Kinky Friedman

Autumn in New York

[FADE IN on Gary Weis standing in front of a window inside a skyscraper which looks out on the Manhattan skyline. He is wearing a dark leisure suit with a burgundy shirt underneath. The collar stands out prominently.]

Up here, on the 27th floor,
I look down on the city I hate and adore.

[CUT to Weis standing under a marqee advertising “NEW YORK’S FINEST ADULT BOOK STORE… 25¢ MOVIE ARCADE. He starts lip-synching to the old standard, “Autumn in New York.”]

Weis: “It’s autumn in New York…”

[After Weis walks away, a long-haired man in a green parka strolls toward the camera arm-in-arm with someone who looks androgynous, in a denim jacket and a stocking cap.]

Man on Left: “That brings the promise of new love…”

[They amble past the camera, and then CUT to Weis lip-synching in front of a store window labeled, “BADLANDS.”]

Weis: “Aaaaauuuuutumn in New York…”

[CUT to a curly-headed man in sunglasses and a leather jacket who rounds the corner of the store with a dog on a leash. He lip-synchs to a woman’s voice.]

Man: “It’s often mingled with pain.”

[HOLD on this man for a moment, then CUT to a pretzel vendor in a stocking cap standing next to his cart.]

Vendor: “Glittering crowds and shimmering clouds…”

[CUT to a cab driver in sunglasses as he leans out the driver’s side window in the middle of the street. Buses stream through the intersection a few cars ahead.]

“And canyons of steel,
They’re making me feel
I’m home…”

[CUT to a flag reading, “The New York Stock Exchange.” Frank Sinatra can be heard singing, “Dreamers with empty hands…” PAN down to a blond-haired man walking down the sidewalk in a powder blue suit and a white tie. He carries a white briefcase and lip-synchs as he saunters gracefully past.]

Pedestrian: “They sigh for exotic lands.”

[CUT to Weis wearing the same outfit and leaning against a lamppost in Central Park.]

Weis: “Autumn in New York…”

[CUT to a long shot of a crowded sidewalk. An older man in a trenchcoat and another in a Yankees warmup jacket are among the pedestrians, several of whom stare blankly at the camera. An easy-listening chorus resembling Fred Waring and His Pennsylvanians sings on the background track.]

Chorus: “It’s good to live it agaaaaaaaaainnnnn…”

[CUT to a younger man in a thick beard and a red windbreaker sitting next to a white-haired lady on a park bench. They lip-synch to tracks of a man and a woman, respectively.]

Man: “Lovers that pass the dark…”

Woman: “On benches in Central Paaa-aaaark…”

[CUT to a deserted park pathway. The singer on the track croons, “Greet autumn in New Yoooo-oooooooork…” CUT to Weis standing on a ferry in the same suit with a polar bear head costume over his head. He nods slowly in time to Johnny Mathis’s voice on the track.]

Johnny Mathis: “It’s good to live it again.”

[PAN over to the Manhattan skyline as seen from the river as Weis steps out of the shot. FADE to the applauding studio audience. ZOOM in on a young blonde woman in a brown-red sweater and SUPERIMPOSE, “WONDERING WHAT TO DO TOMORROW NIGHT.” She acknowledges the camera shyly and continues to clap. FADE to black.]

Submitted by: Sean

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