SNL Transcripts: Buck Henry: 10/30/76: Land Shark


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 2: Episode 6

76f: Buck Henry / The Band

Land Shark

Woman…..Gilda Radner
Land Shark…..Chevy Chase

[ open on interior, Woman’s Apartment, 2:00 a.m. ] [ doorbell rings ]

Woman: Who is it?

Voice At Door: [ drawn-out pause ] Uh.. trick or treat?

Woman: [ gets up and walks cautiously to the door ] Look, it’stwo o’clock in the morning. Halloween’s over! Shouldn’t you be in bed by now?

Voice At Door: [ stuttering ] Mrs. Bar- Barsen- Bargen- Barsen..?

Woman: There is no Mrs. Bargenbarson here!

Voice At Door: [ pause ] Candy-Gram?

Woman: Look, I’m all out of candy! I gave it all away! Now, go home!

Voice At Door: UNI- UNICEF, ma’am?

Woman: UNICEF?

Voice At Door: UNICEF.

Woman: Well, that’s different..

[ Woman grabs her purse and opens the door – as she does, the Land Shark peers in, gobbles her up and drags her into the hall. ] [ Land Shark re-enters the apartment, and stares at the camera. Suddenly, Chevy Chase pokes his head and arm out of the mouth ]

Chevy Chase: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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