SNL Transcripts: Buck Henry: 10/30/76: Land Shark

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 2: Episode 6

76f: Buck Henry / The Band

Land Shark

Woman…..Gilda Radner
Land Shark…..Chevy Chase

[ open on interior, Woman’s Apartment, 2:00 a.m. ] [ doorbell rings ]

Woman: Who is it?

Voice At Door: [ drawn-out pause ] Uh.. trick or treat?

Woman: [ gets up and walks cautiously to the door ] Look, it’stwo o’clock in the morning. Halloween’s over! Shouldn’t you be in bed by now?

Voice At Door: [ stuttering ] Mrs. Bar- Barsen- Bargen- Barsen..?

Woman: There is no Mrs. Bargenbarson here!

Voice At Door: [ pause ] Candy-Gram?

Woman: Look, I’m all out of candy! I gave it all away! Now, go home!

Voice At Door: UNI- UNICEF, ma’am?

Woman: UNICEF?

Voice At Door: UNICEF.

Woman: Well, that’s different..

[ Woman grabs her purse and opens the door – as she does, the Land Shark peers in, gobbles her up and drags her into the hall. ] [ Land Shark re-enters the apartment, and stares at the camera. Suddenly, Chevy Chase pokes his head and arm out of the mouth ]

Chevy Chase: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!

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