SNL Transcripts: Paul Simon: 11/20/76: The Twilite Zone


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 2: Episode 8

76h: Paul Simon / George Harrison

The Twilite Zone

Rod Serling…..Dan Aykroyd
Starlet #1……Jane Curtin
Starlet #2……Laraine Newman
Starlet #3……Gilda Radner
Room Service…..Garrett Morris

Rod Serling: You’re traveling to another dimension. A dimension of time and space. A dimension of sight and mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance. You’ve just crossed over into.. “The Twilite Zone”.

[ fade into motel room, Starlet #1 unpacking ]

Meet Peggy Martin. Age 27. A struggling actress working as a model. Told to meet a certain producer by her agent. Peggy has just checked into Room 16 of the Blaine Motel. A motel where there are no check-out times, no room service, and, for some reason, no sinks. She’s just gotten a room reserved for guests of “The Twilite Zone”.

[ pan to Rod narrating, smiles wickedly as the image slow-fades to the doorknob turning ]

Starlet #2: [ enters room, startling Starlet #1 ] I’m terribly sorry!

Starlet #1: My goodness! You frightened me!

Starlet #2: I’m.. I’m supposed to meet someone here. This is Room 16, isn’t it?

Starlet #1: Yes.

Rod Serling: Meet Sylvia Townsend. Age 26. A struggling actress working nights as a cocktail waitress at the Alpatrino, a seedy establishment patronized by down-and-out theatrical agents. Sylvia, too, has just checked into “The Twilite Zone”.

Starlet #1: [ sighing ] You frightened me at first. They must have made a mistake at the desk. Here.. you sit, and I’ll go call.

Starlet #2: This really is unusual. A customer of mine said he was a producer, and he had me meet him up here in this room for an audition.

Starlet #1: [ checking phone ] The line is dead.

[ doorknob turns again, as Starlet #3 enters ]

Starlet #3: Oh! Is this Room 16?

Starlet #1 & #2: [ frightened ] Yes!!

Starlet #3: No wonder it was only $7 a night – you have to share.

Rod Serling: Meet Rhonda Friedman. Age 26. A struggling actress currently working in a factory testing rubber gloves for imperfections. What Rhonda doesn’t know, is that she, too, has just entered “The Twilite Zone”.

Starlet #1: I guess there must be something wrong with the manager of this place, sending all three of us young actresses to the same room.

[ a knock at the door ]

All: [ trembling ] What is it?!

Room Service: Rooooom Service!

Starlet #3: Room Service? [ opens door ]

Room Service: Uh-huh. Champagne.

Starlet #3: Champagne?

Room Service: Yes.

Starlet #3: [ reads the note ] It’s from a.. Mr. Serling..?

[ show Rod Serling doffing his hat to the camera ]

Starlet #1: That’s funny.. I didn’t know this motel had Room Service..

[ Room Service exits ]

Starlet #2: Wait.. there’s more.. [ reading ] “Compliments of.. ‘The Twilite Zone'”..

[ the Starlets scream as the hear the door being locked behind them ]

Rod Serling: Submitted for your approval: three pretty girls, all of them actresses, locked in a motel room, each possessing similar charms and talents. Victims of a bizarre joke, perhaps. Or perhaps this: a man creates a television show. He goes to a lot of parties. He meets a lot of pretty actresses. He wakes up in the morning, perhaps he’s had a little too much to drink. He doesn’t remember the promises he made the night before. Although he’s a brilliant writer and creator, he’s also human, and he has his needs. That’s why he arranged this meeting, and, in a few moments, will cross forever into “The Twilite Zone”.

[ Serling enters motel room set, pours champagne for the Starlets ]

[ dissolve to wide shot of audience, zoom into man with SUPER: “Thought This Was A Peer Group” ] [ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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