Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 2: Episode 9
76i: Jodie Foster / Brian Wilson
What Kinda Guy Watches Saturday Night?
Steve Bushakis … John Belushi
Female Announcer … Laraine Newman
[Plant shop. With his back to the camera, the shop’scasually-dressed, “tough guy” owner, Steve Bushakis,waters his plants with a spray bottle.]
Female Announcer: What kind of guy watches NBC’sSaturday Night? Let’s ask Steve Bushakis of Chicago,Illinois.
Steve Bushakis: [stops spraying and turns to addressthe camera] I just started my own business. I guess Iwas just sick of takin’ orders from the other guy. Thebusiness? This plant shop. Ahhh, people kid me aboutplant shop owners bein’ gay — and I kid ’em rightback! You see, I’m so secure in my virility that I canjoke about homos. Let me tell you, though, I likewomen! And they like me. I’ve had gonorrhea fivetimes. There’s no double standard here! Uh uh. Themore promiscuous a girl, the more I respect her.[Superimposed text appears reading: NBC DOES NOT WISHTO ADVOCATE OR CONDONE SEXUAL PROMISCUITY] And when itcomes to entertainments, it’s raunchy, sophomorecomedy for me! That’s why I watch Saturday Night. Iguess you’d say … I’m that Saturday Night kind o’guy. [grabs a cigarette, lights up, raises his eyebrowto the camera]
Female Announcer: Women love a man who watchesSaturday Night.
Submitted Anonymously
