SNL Transcripts: Jodie Foster: 11/27/76: Phasing Gilda Out


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 2: Episode 9

76i: Jodie Foster / Brian Wilson

Phasing Gilda Out

…..Gilda Radner

[ open on Gilda Radner standing on stage apron ]

Gilda Radner: Hi, everybody. I’m Gilda Radner. As it turns out, this week I have very, very little to do in the show. I mean, uh.. it isn’t anybody’s fault, it just turned out that way. So, uh.. they said I could come out here and say “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night..”

[ dissolve to opening montage and theme music ]

Hold it! Hold it! Wait a minute!

[ cut back to Gilda ]

Hold it! Wait a minute!

[ music stops ]

Hold it a minute! Now, I was supposed to be in this scene, okay? Where I was Joey Hetherton in the locker room of the Minnesota Vikings. But it got cut. Now, it went over great in dress rehearsal, you know..

[ SUPER: “Actually, we’re phasing Gilda out.” ]

..and I thought it was pretty funny, but it got cut..

[ SUPER: “She doesn’t know it. But this is her last show.” ]

Alright? It just got cut!

[ SUPER: “She was getting suspicious.” ]

You know.. sometimes it just feels like the whole world is ganging up on me..

[ SUPER: “But we told her she was just being paranoid.” ]

I mean, the other girls got featured a lot in the show. I mean, Jane does “Update” – I mean, she does it really well.. anybody can read. As a matter of fact, I majored in Oral Interpretation in college. Anyway, I just wanted to say, if you watch “Saturday Night” particularly to see me.. I won’t be on that much. I mean, you might as well forget it, you know? I’ll be in the background a couple of times, you know, and, uh.. but if you’re a big fan of mine, I would just turn it off – and, Mom, you can go to sleep, okay? I’m.. big deal. Really big deal. Peanuts! I mean, they said I could open the show. Okay. [ throws her arms in the air ] “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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