Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 2: Episode 9
Phasing Gilda Out
[ open on Gilda Radner standing on stage apron ]
Gilda Radner: Hi, everybody. I’m Gilda Radner. As it turns out, this week I have very, very little to do in the show. I mean, uh.. it isn’t anybody’s fault, it just turned out that way. So, uh.. they said I could come out here and say “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night..”
[ dissolve to opening montage and theme music ]
Hold it! Hold it! Wait a minute!
[ cut back to Gilda ]
Hold it! Wait a minute!
[ music stops ]
Hold it a minute! Now, I was supposed to be in this scene, okay? Where I was Joey Hetherton in the locker room of the Minnesota Vikings. But it got cut. Now, it went over great in dress rehearsal, you know..
[ SUPER: “Actually, we’re phasing Gilda out.” ]
..and I thought it was pretty funny, but it got cut..
[ SUPER: “She doesn’t know it. But this is her last show.” ]
Alright? It just got cut!
[ SUPER: “She was getting suspicious.” ]
You know.. sometimes it just feels like the whole world is ganging up on me..
[ SUPER: “But we told her she was just being paranoid.” ]
I mean, the other girls got featured a lot in the show. I mean, Jane does “Update” – I mean, she does it really well.. anybody can read. As a matter of fact, I majored in Oral Interpretation in college. Anyway, I just wanted to say, if you watch “Saturday Night” particularly to see me.. I won’t be on that much. I mean, you might as well forget it, you know? I’ll be in the background a couple of times, you know, and, uh.. but if you’re a big fan of mine, I would just turn it off – and, Mom, you can go to sleep, okay? I’m.. big deal. Really big deal. Peanuts! I mean, they said I could open the show. Okay. [ throws her arms in the air ] “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!“