SNL Transcripts: Candice Bergen: 12/11/76: Carter’s Promises



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 2: Episode 10




76j: Candice Bergen / Frank Zappa

Carter’s Promises

Jimmy Carter…..Dan Aykroyd

[ open on President-elect Jimmy Carter sitting outside of a warehouse in Plains, Georgia, eating from a bag of shelled peanuts ]

Jimmy Carter: Good evening, my fellow Americans! If you remember my campaign for President, I promised to keep every promise I made. Tonight, I’m here to tell you.. well.. unfortunately, that will be impossible. [ smiles wide ] You see, I’m not privy to information that only a President is privy to, and I’m.. I’m beginning to appreciate just how good a President Gerald Ford has been. [ smiles wide ]

Considering today’s harsh economic realities – for example, I promised that I would both balance the budget and reduce unemployment. Well, it simply can’t be done! [ smiles wide ] No way! It just looks bad. If you could see all the papers and the briefs and information that I read – well, as Bob Dyland said, “It blows my mind!”

Now, look – the economy of the entire world is in a tailspin. Now, I don’t have all the answers. I never did. But I have developed a plan to save the world economy. But that’s gonna take me at least four years to get started. Because, after all, I’m not the President of the World. [ smiles wide ] So, don’t expect things to start improving until the beginning of my second term. But I do promise that, by 1984, well, we’ll have a balanced budget and full employment. And you cna depend on it! I love you all. God bless. Merry Christmas, and thank you for making me your president! [ chews a peanut ] [ camera zooms out, then dissolves into a slow zoom on a random female audience member ] [ SUPER: “Confused Polly Bergen Fan” ] [ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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