SNL Transcripts: Candice Bergen: 12/11/76: FX-70 Cheese Slicer

0
(0)



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 2: Episode 10




76j: Candice Bergen / Frank Zappa

FX-70 Cheese Slicer

… Candice Bergen
Johnny … John Belushi

[Parody of a 1970s Polaroid ad – Western music -Candice Bergen holds what appears to be an instantcamera as we pull back to reveal Johnny, a kid in acowboy outfit.]

Candice Bergen: Okay, Johnny, what do yousay?

Johnny: [smiles] Cheeeeese!

[Candice points the “camera” at Johnny and presses abutton – the “camera” whirs and a slice of processedyellow cheese emerges from the slot where one wouldexpect to see an instant photo]

Candice Bergen: Got it! [hands the cheese sliceto Johnny who happily unwraps and eats it] Anotherperfect slice of processed cheese! And look at thatcolor! It turns from mild to sharp in sixty seconds!

[Dissolve to a table laden with cheeseburgers,cheese-covered pie slices, etc. Over this, two handshold the “camera” with a slice of cheese sticking outof it]

Candice Bergen: The new FX-70 Cheese Slicer andprocessed cheese cartridges. [SUPER: $69.95] Onlysixty-nine ninety-five for all your cheese needs.

[Dissolve back to Candice and Johnny.]

Candice Bergen: Hey! What do you say?

Offscreen Children’s Voices: [as Johnny holdsup his cheese slice] Cheeeeese!

[Candice points the “camera” at Johnny who grinsmischievously and raises an eyebrow at her. Applause -fade.]

Submitted Anonymously

SNL Transcripts

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments