SNL Transcripts: Ruth Gordon: 01/22/77: Injured John

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 2: Episode 12





76l: Ruth Gordon / Chuck Berry

Injured John

…..Lorne Michaels
…..Jane Curtin
…..John Belushi’s Doctor
…..Gilda Radner

[ open on interior, Lorne’s office ]

Lorne Michaels: [ into the phone ] — I’m telling you, because he can’t… because he can’t do the show. Listen, he was in dress rehearsal — you’re ognna have to ask Danny to go out and do the opening. Belushi is just not rea —

[ Jane Curtin enters with a bespectacled man at her side ]

John Belushi’s Doctor: Mr. Michaels?

Lorne Michaels: [ to his visitor ] Yeah, one second, please. [ into the phone ] Okay? Send Danny out.

[ Lorne hangs up the phone and stands ]

Jane Curtin: Lorne, this is John’s doctor.

Lorne Michaels: Hi.

John Belushi’s Doctor: Mr. Michaels, he’s — he’s — he’s GOT to go on! Now, maybe he’s not one-hundred per cent Belushi… but he’s got the drive, he’s got the will, he’ll — he’ll — he’ll —

Lorne Michaels: Doctor —

John Belushi’s Doctor: He’s GOT to perform! That’s all. Now, he’d be CRUSHED if he doesn’t!

Lorne Michaels: Doctor, I don’t want to — I don’t want to, uh, argue with you. But from what I saw at dress rehearsal, I canNOT put Belushi on national television.

John Belushi’s Doctor: Uh, Gilda — ?

Lorne Michaels: He’s like in a coma

John Belushi’s Doctor: Gilda, would you please fetch him in here. [ to Lorne ] Just take ONE more look at him!

Lorne Michaels: They’ve already started. We’re on the air right now!

John Belushi’s Doctor: I — I — I understand — I understand —

Lorne Michaels: I CAN’T put him in the top!

John Belushi’s Doctor: [ Gilda wheels John Belushi into Lorne’s office stretched across a wheelchair ]

John Belushi’s Doctor: Ah! Well, now, you see — you see — you see — you see?

Lorne Michaels: Look — I can’t let this man on television. He’s a — I mean, he’s barely awake!

[ Belushi males comic motions from his position in the wheelchair ]

John Belushi’s Doctor: Lorne, if John Belushi could speak… he’d TELL you he’s GOT to go on!

Lorne Michaels: Doc, I — I — I — I don’t understand: why are you so convinced that this man can do a show?

John Belushi’s Doctor: [ he chuckles ] Well, to be perfectly honest, it’s about my fee. You see, uh — if he doesn’t go on —

Lorne Michaels: Yeah?

John Belushi’s Doctor: He doesn’t get paid.

Lorne Michaels: Right.

John Belushi’s Doctor: And, if he doesn’t get paid, I don’t get paid. And if I don’t get paid… I’ll be forced to cut off his drugs!

[ Belushi perks up his head in worry, as the camera zooms in on him ]

John Belushi: Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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