Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 2: Episode 15
John Belushi’s Dream
… John Belushi
… Don Pardo
[In an office filled with sporting goods (a barbell, abasketball net, a catcher’s mitt, etc.), John Belushi,wearing a lettered collegian’s sweater, sits on theedge of a desk, passing a football from hand to hand,before addressing the camera:]
John Belushi: Hi. I’m John Belushi. I guess you’veseen me on the show here. I’m one of the actors. Thisis my office. NBC has allowed me this time to make avery personal announcement. Ladies and gentlemen,fans, friends, I’m announcing at this time … that Iam retiring from show business. Now, this was not asudden decision on my part. I feel that there areothers who can make you laugh. I know that because Iused to be one of them. I’m quitting the businessbecause I feel my contribution is not acting. Mycontribution to mankind is not to be an actor. My truedestiny is to win the Olympic gold medal in thedecathlon at the Moscow games in 1980. [sets thefootball aside] The decathlon — ten grueling events– from the one hundred meters to the fifteen hundredmeter run — the ultimate test. And the winner cantruly be called the world’s greatest athlete. That ismy destiny. Of course, I’ll have to quit the show anddevote all of my time to training. Unfortunately, Ihaven’t saved any money from this show to live onuntil then. That’s why I’m selling these — [holds upa large gold coin] Olympic gold coins — with the maskof comedy and tragedy on one side [shows other side ofcoin] and the likeness of myself clearing the heightof eight feet, two inches in the high jump on theother. [Olympic theme music plays] Now, we all knowthat the Russian athletes are supported by Communistmoney. Olympians like myself are supported solely by”free enterprise” money, your money. Think of it as aninvestment — or a rip-off, I don’t care. Because foronce in my life, I’m not going for the laugh, I’mgoing for the gold.
[Dissolve to a graphic that reads: JOHN BELUSHI’SDREAM, Greenwich Village, New York City, N.Y., N.Y. asDon Pardo takes over:]
Don Pardo: Send five dollars to JOHN BELUSHI’S DREAM,Greenwich Village, New York City, New York, New York.
[Dissolve back to Belushi:]
John Belushi: See you in Moscow in 1980! Be there!
[Belushi leans back and starts doing sit-ups on top ofthe desk. He manages to do a complete one, then does ahalf sit-up and counts it as “two” — then we dissolveto the applauding audience and zoom in on one gentleman over whom a superimposed text reads: LIVING A LIE.]