Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 2: Episode 16
Baba Wawa at Large
Baba Wawa…..Gilda Radner
[ title card: “Baba Wawa At Large” ]
[ dissolve to close-up of Baba Wawa ]
Baba Wawa: Hewwo! This is “Baba Wawa at Warge”! [ audience cheers ] Uh — let me just begin by saying thewe’s nevew a dull moment in my iwwustwious caweew!I’ve JUST wetuwned fwom Iwan, whewe I was intewviewing the Shah and Shahness and Shahnettes of Iwan! And now, hewe I am in the luxuwious Bevewwy Hiwws home of a gweat Owiental fiwm staw!
[ pull back for wide shot as Baba joins Godzilla on the couch ]
Of couwse, I’m wefewwing to the weawwy tewwific Godziwwa! How awe you today, Godziwwa?
Godzilla: Oh, I’m fine! [ pats her hand ] How are you, Barbara?
Baba Wawa: Oh, just fine! Uh — Godziwwa, is this YOUW pwace?
Godzilla: Yes, it sure is! You know, you just can’t away from this — you know, I’m working here, uh, this is where I’m gonna make my home — Los Angeles!
Baba Wawa: Godziwwa, is — is — is that a Japanese name?
Godzilla: Uh, no. You know, a lot of people think I’m from Japan, or a muppet, you know? Actually, uh, I’m — I’m neither. Actually, I’m, uh — I’m Hawaiian! I was born in a crater off the coast of Awahoo[?], and… my egg was hatched from the warmth of a lava flow during an eruption from a dormant volcano.
Baba Wawa: Ohhh! [ she chuckles ] “Fwom the wawmth of a wava fwow duwing a vowcanic ewuption!” Weawwy! So, you’we Hawaiian?
Godzilla: Yes, I am. Sure! I went to high school with Bette Midler!
Baba Wawa: Ohhh! Weawwy?
Godzilla: We went steady together for TWO years! [ he mimes physical action ]
Baba Wawa: Uh, Godziwwa, if I could get pewsonal with you fow a moment… wouwd you say thewe was any pawticuwaw weason why you went into show business? I mean, coming fwom an unhappy chiwdhood..?
Godzilla: Well, uh, I was hatched from an egg — you could say I came from a broken home!
[ they laugh uproariously ]
Baba Wawa: Ohhh, Godziwwa! If I could get just a wittle, wee bit mowe pewsonal with you — are you, uh — [ she laughs as Godzilla leans closer to her ] But I don’t want you to get pewsonal with me! [ she laughs again ] Uh — awe you mawwied?
Godzilla: Yes, and very happily. Yes. I’ve got a beautiful wife — Juanita — and two lovely children. Uh — Skyler, 8, and Lindsey… 5.
Baba Wawa: Ohhh, a boy and a giwl!
Godzilla: Uh, no — two boys. Please! They’re gonna be football players!
[ Godzilla mimes a tackle, bumping his head into Baba’s ]
Baba Wawa: Oh! Watch it, Godziwwa! Uh — if I could get just a teeny tiny bit mowe, uh, pewsonal with you — what is your wife wike, physicawwy?
Godzilla: About five-three, uh, and a half. On the petite side — I have no complaints, you know!
Baba Wawa: Ahhh, Godziwwa — if I couwd get a WOT mowe pewsonal with you… how do you and youw wife “do it”?
Godzilla: Verrrry carefully!
[ they laugh uproariously ]
Baba Wawa: Who do the kids take aftew?
Godzilla: Oh! My wife. Please! One actor in the family’s enough!
Baba Wawa: Godziwwa… [ she touches his hand ] What’s next?
Godzilla: Well, actually, Barbara, what I really want to do is direct.
Baba Wawa: [ she chuckles ] Oh, well! Good wuck, Godziwwa! Do you do all youw own stunts?
Godzilla: Uhh — I, uh — I like to, Barbara. Okay, once, I hurt my hip, they had to send in a stunt crew. But, usually I like to do my own stunts.
Baba Wawa: Oh, well, uh — couwld you pwease demonstwate fow us?
Godzilla: I sure could! Why don’t you come on over here?
[ he stands to step over to a miniature cityscape on the floor, as she follows ]
Baba Wawa: Mmm-hmm.
Godzilla: Okay, now, uh, there are two basic moves, uh, when I come to destroy a city.
Baba Wawa: Right.
Godzilla: Alright, first I come in, like — I swipe, like — [ he spreads his arms and growls, knocking Barbara back onto the couch ]
Baba Wawa: Okay…
Godzilla: Like that. And then there’s the… [ he starts stomping on the cityscape ] CRUSH and SMASH… all the… like that!
Baba Wawa: Ohhh!! [ she chuckles ] Godziwwa, I thank you fow youw hospitawity, and good wuck, uh, in youw new caweew! Uh, one mowe thing, Godziwwa — uh — be wise with us, be good with us! [ to the camera ] This is Baba Wawa at Warge, saying good night!
[ zoom out, with SUPER: “Coming Up Next… The One Hour Crash Diet” ]
[ fade ]