SNL Transcripts: Julian Bond: 04/09/77: H&L Brock

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 2: Episode 18





76r: Julian Bond / Tom Waits, Brick

H&L Brock

Lowell Brock…..John Belushi

[ open on Businessman seated in armchair ]

Lowell Brock: Hi, I’m Lowell Brock for H&L Brock. Not to be confused with H&R Block, our competitors. Usually it’s my brother Henry who does these commercials. Henry is the actor of the family. I’m the accountant. I do all the work. So here’s some more of my seventeen reasons why you should let me do your taxes. Reason #10. I take the time.

[ SUPER: “I Take The Time” ]

At H&L Brock, I take the time to do your taxes correctly – no matter how long it takes. And if there is a problem with the IRS, I’ll represent your claim. Why? Reason #11. I have the time.

[ SUPER: “I Have The Time” ]

Other tax firms aren’t interested in standing behind their work. I do. I have to. Why? Reason #12. I’m donig time.

[ SUPER: “I’m Doing Time” ] [ camera pulls back to reveal Brock has been speaking from inside a jail cell ]

Yes, I’m doing time. About 10 to 20 years for fraud, forgery, and attempted bribes of IRS officials, which is another reason that i’m rarely seen on television. Even if I got out for good behavior in seven years, I still have plenty of time to prepare your returns. So why pay costly taxes when you don’t have to? Come down to H&L Brock tomorrow. Visiting hours are from 9:30 to 4:00, every other Thursday. [ runs tin cup along bars ] Guard! [ Guard enters ] Guard, your short form is finished. Now, how about those cigarettes? [ Guard hands him pack of cigarettes ] [ SUPER: “H&L Brock – The Tax Fraud People ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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