SNL Transcripts: Julian Bond: 04/09/77: Creeley’s Soup

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 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 2: Episode 18




76r: Julian Bond / Tom Waits, Brick

Creeley’s Soup

Little Girl…..Gilda Radner
Voice of Soupman…..Bill Murray

[ open on Little Girl at table eating soup ]

Voice of Soupman: [ from off screen ] Hey, kid.

Little Girl: What?

Voice of Soupman: What’s that you’re eating?

Little Girl: Soup.

Voice of Soupman: Yeah, but what kind of soup?

Little Girl: Vegetable soup.

Voice of Soupman: What kind of vegetable soup?

Little Girl: Aunt Jane Creeley’s Vegetable soup.

Voice of Soupman: Of course it is. And do you know what goes into Aunt Jane Creeley’s Vegetable soup?

Little Girl: Vegetables.

Voice of Soupman: That’s right, kid. Aunt Jane’s home grown vegetables. Tomatoes, peas, carrots, green beans, mushrooms, potatoes, and corn. There’s seven in all. Count them.

[ Little Girl takes out some of the vegetables in her soup, puts them on the table, and counts them ]

Little Girl: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

Voice of Soupman: You really like that soup, don’t you?

Little Girl: Uh-huh. More than anything in the whole wide world!

Voice of Soupman: Okay. I’ll give you a brand-new doll for that soup.

Little Girl: No.

Voice of Soupman: All right. How about a brand-new doll and a bicycle?

Little Girl: Uh-uh.

Voice of Soupman: All right. How about a brand-new doll, a bicycle, and tickets to the circus?

Little Girl: [ thinks for a moment ] No! Leave me alone! I’m eating!

Voice of Soupman: You really love your that soup, don’t you?

Little Girl: Mm-hmm.

Voice of Soupman: You see those little pieces of corn in there?

Little Girl: Yeah?

Voice of Soupman: Well take them out and stuff them into your nose.

Little Girl: [ puzzled at being asked ] Why?

Voice of Soupman: Because the Soupman says so.

[ Little Girl picks corn out of the soup and sticks them in her nose ]

Little Girl: It hurts!

Voice of Soupman: [ laughs wickedly ] Well, in that case you better take some hot soup and pour it all over your nose.

Little Girl: [ shocked again ] Why?

Voice of Soupman: Because there’s nothing better for a stuffy nose than nice, hot soup.

Little Girl: Why?

Voice of Soupman: Because the Soupman says so.

[ Little Girl painfully does as told, pouring the bowl of soup over her nose. Then, she puts down the bowl and tries to eat whatever soup remains in the bowl ]

Announcer: [ reading slogan on screen ] Creeley’s Soup. The child handler.

[ fade to black ] [ fade up on audience wide shot, zoom in on woman with SUPER: “Has Every Known Annoying Habit” ] [ fade ]

Submitted by: Tony DuMont

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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Matt Vandermast
Matt Vandermast
11 months ago

I’ve been watching “The Best of Gilda Radner.” This site is a great deal of help in finding which episodes the sketches came from, including this one.