Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 2: Episode 19
Elliot Gould: [ unaware of camera as he paces Home Base ] I’m — I’m on? Weive got sixty seconds to fill, right? Well, I know we’ve got Earl the Pearl sitting up there — [ he gestures to balcony ] [ Belushi taps Elliot on the shoulder, then removes his shades to reveal fake eyeballs attached to his face as he looks around blindly ]
John Belushi: He’s up there?[ Aykroyd makes his way to the front of the stage ]
Dan Aykroyd: Hey, I’d like to make an appeal — I need a pair of, uh, tanks for a Harley Davidson, a ’71 Electra Glide Police Special. I need Fat Bob tanks. I’ve only got, like, the 3.2 gallon tanks — I need the big tanks. Please write me a letter if you’ve got them. I’ll pay you good money. This is for a 1971 Electra Glide Harley Davidson Police Special — I need the tanks, the Fat Bob tanks. Thank you!
John Belushi: Also… Gail Sears — Gail Sears, uh, I hope your knee gets better, and Dick Butkus, also. [ to Elliot ] My two idols. That’s it.
Gilda Radner: That’s all, say good night!
John Belushi: Gilda, you want to say anything?
Gilda Radner: Nothing!
John Belushi: Say good night to Johnny Carson, Ed MacMahon, and, uh…
Laraine Newman: Doc Severinsen!
John Belushi: Doc Severinsen, uh — we don’t watch your show, but we respect it very much. Elliot Gould! The BEST host we’ve ever had! [ Elliot laughs ] You’re the BEST host we’ve ever had — honest![ the audience cheers, as Elliot shakes Belushi’s hand and the credits finally begin to roll ]
Announcer: Next Saturday night, our host will be Eric Idle, with musical guest Neil Innes and Alan Price. Your announcer is Don Pardo. I wonder: should I leave my make-up on ’til I get home? Why not? I look so handsome with make-up! Good night!