Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 2: Episode 20
76t: Eric Idle / Alan Price, Neil Innes
Body Language
Man…..Bill Murray
Pretty Girl…..Laraine Newman
Bathroom Man…..Eric Idle
Uninsured Man…..Neil Innes
Insurance Salesman…..Garrett Morris
Passerby…..Bill Murray
Foreigner…..Neil Innes
Drunk Man…..Neil Innes
Hippie…..Eric Idle
Stumbling Man…..Gary Weis
Hooker…..Gilda Radner
Loonie Man…..Eric Idle
Dead Man…..Gary Weis
[ open film on a woman jogging, as a burly-looking man sits on a park bench off to the side and watches ]
Eric Idle V/O: Not many people realize that body language is as important to us as speech. Unconciously, we read what other people are saying by their body language.
[ pan across park to find Man slumping forward on a bench ]
For example, look at the way this man’s body says: “I am unhappy. I am miserable and tense, and lonely.” Now, let’s see what happens when a pretty girl comes along.
[ a pretty girl strolls along the walk, and stops to sit across from the slumping man ]
The girl’s body language says that she is not doing anything this evening, apart from watching television and maybe washing her hair.
[ she lights a cigarette and crosses her legs ]
[ cut to the man, still slumping forward in her direction ]
The man first signals that he is interested…
[ the man straightens his posture, then spreads his arms and legs wide apart ]
And, then, VERY interested.
[ the woman reacts by mimicking his posture and looking at her watch ]
The woman signals, that she, too, is interested… but has a dental appointment.
[ the man tries to casually light a cigarette, but fumbles with his cigarette box and spills his cigarettes onto the grounf ]
The man, however, becomes nervous and embarrassed.
[ the woman closes her legs, stands with her legs crosses, and shirls away from the scene ]
And, alas, the female feels rejected, and goes away miserable and unhappy ]
[ cut to a man standing in the middle of the road with his knees locked together ]
This man wants to visit the bathroom. You see how his body tells us this?
[ cut to an Uninsured Man standing in the middle of the street darting out of the way of incoming traffic ]
This man wishes that he were better insured. See what a simple prey he is for a clever insurance salesman who can read body language.
[ an Insurance Salesman runs forward with a contract ]
A quick piece of business… and the deal is done! He can now cross the road with complete peace of mind.
[ the Uninsured Man walks off-camera into the street, as the Insurance Salesman watches. Tires screech, and the Insurance Salesman stares into the camera with a worried expression upon his face. ]
[ cut to Passerby at a pay phone, as a Foreignor taps him on the shoulder ]
This man is a foreignor.
[ the Foreignor makes unusual body gestures ]
See how his body language is different. He is asking the way to a restaurant, but the passerby does not understand him…
[ the Passerby pulls out a gun, points it at the foreignor’s head, and shoots ]
…and shoots him. What a pity.
[ cut to a man stumbling along the side of a building ]
Here are some more common examples of body language: “I am drunk.”
[ cut to Hippie squatted behind a bush as he falls over ]
“I am stoned.”
[ cut to a man tripping on the sidewalk ]
“I am a klutz.”
[ cut to man with his hands covering his face ]
“I have terrible acne.”
[ cut to Hooker leaning against lamppost ]
“I am available for sophisticated sexual activity at a reasonable rate, to be determined by mutual free-exchange open bargaining.”
[ cut to man peering out from behind a tree as he beats his own head ]
“I am a loonie.”
[ cut to man lying on sidewalk ]
“I am dead.”
[ cut to the group of people assuming different poses and movements in the park ]
Body language. Maybe if we could all read it, the world would be a better place.
[ dissolve to title card: “An Idle-Weis Production” ]
[ dissolve to audience wide shot, zoom in on woman with SUPER: “Has Already Set Clock Ahead” ]
[ fade ]
