Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 2: Episode 20
[ open on overhead footage of an elevated oil rig ]
[ art card: “Oxxon” ]
Announcer: This… is the biggest prop ever made for a commercial — and Oxxon paid for it. The rising cost of oil advertising is just one reason why your energy costs more. These shots are taken from a helicopter. Do you have any idea how much a helicopter like this costs to rent? And for every little film that you’re watching right now, there’s a hundred feet we didn’t use. That’s a lot of film, expensive film.
[ cut to employees working at a massive control board ]
Look at this set — very expensive. And we have to use ALL union actors, and an all union crew to shoot these things.
[ cut to the employees eating lunch in the cafeteria ]
And we’ve got to feed these people. Not just spaghetti, but meat. Just look at this guy eat!
[ cut back to the elevated oil rig ]
And don’t forget about me, the guy who narrates these things — I get paid, too. And once the commercial’s made, the cost just begins. We’ve got to pay up to $100,000 a minute just so you can see this. So, next time you complain about oil prices, turn on your TV and watch an expensive oil commercial like this one.
[ dissolve to art card: “Oxxon, Energy for a gullible America” ]
Jingle: “Energy for a gullible America”!
[ fade ]