Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 2: Episode 20
Save Great Britain Telethon
…..Eric Idle …..Bill Murray Queen Elizabeth…..Jeanette Charles
[ open on Queen Elizabeth knitting onstage, as Eric Idle takes a call. He looks up when he notices the camera ]
Eric Idle: Uh — well! Welcome back to the Great Britain telethon, where I’m afraid that the latest news is that Clive Davis gas asked fro his money back. So, let’s have a look at the total —[ the board, which read “000000020”, flips its numbers to now read “000000000” ]
Eric Idle: Yes. Well, we have got a whole bank of twenty telephones here, open for the last final rush of donations. If you will rush to your phones right now. So, whilst you’re ringing in with your last-minute pledges, here’s Bill Murray. Bill, what are you gonna do for us?
Bill Murray: Uh — to raise money for England, I’m gonna chug this bottle of grape juice.
Eric Idle: Wonderful. Ladies and gentlemen, Bill Murray will now chug-a-lug the entire contents of a quart bottle of grape juice!
Bill Murray: Can I have a drum roll, please? [ a drum roll accompanies Bill as he begins to chug the grape juice, then stops almost as quickly as he began ] I can’t finish it!
Eric Idle: Terrific. We’ll be right back.[ Eric Idle shoves Bill off the stage, as we dissolve to the end bumper ]