SNL Transcripts: Mardi Gras Special: 02/20/77: The Krewe of Apollo Ball


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 2: Mardi Gras Special

Mardi Gras Special

The Krewe of Apollo Ball

…..Buck Henry
…..Jane Curtin
…..Penny Marshall
…..Roberts Batson

[ dissolve back to SNL’s reviewing grandstand at the corner of Bourbon and Canal streets ]

Jane Curtin: At this year’s parade, the theme will be Sex Crimes of Many Nations. As we speak, they are starting construction on a huge float in the shape of a closet.

Buck Henry: The parade itself was discovered by 16th Century French explorer, Pierre Parade, who was searching for a route from Canal Street to his hotel room.

Jane Curtin: And now, over to Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams at the Apollo Ball.

[ dissolve to Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams at the Apollo Ball, in the Hyatt Regency ] [ Penny Marshall is seated at a table and reading from a clipboard, oblivious that the camera is now on her. She hears applause and begins clapping as well, her eyes looking about the room in a catatonic state. She glances to the side of the cameraman. ]

Penny Marshall: Now?

[ Penny grabs a microphone, continues to stare incoherently for another second or two, sighs into the microphone, then finally begins ]

Penny Marshall: Well, the parades and the craziness on the streets are.. the Mardi Gras everyone knows. That is the public Mardi Gras. But there is another private carnival as well. [ flips the notes on her clipboard ] We — Cindy’s not here yet — but we are privileged tonight to be invited to the 8th Annual Ball Masque of the Mystic Krewe of Apollo.

[ cut to a man in a tuxedo escorting a man in a ball gown across the floor ]

Penny Marshall V/O: This carnival club has an all-male membership, as many of the other club’s do.

[ cut back to Penny ]

Penny Marshall: But, tonight’s ball, the queen, the maids, and the debutantes.. are all being portrayed by the men of this organization. [ looks off to the side ] Uh – there’s a debutante out there now. Isn’t she beautiful? [ looks again ] He’s beautiful.

[ cut to a male debutante being escorted by another male ]

Penny Marshall V/O: Here comes another debutante. She’s wearing a white dress, blonde hair with baby’s breath in it. I don’t know the age requirement of the debutantes, but she looks swell.

[ upward diagonal wipe back to Penny clapping ]

Penny Marshall: Um — [ turns to the man seated behind her ] Roberts Batson.. do you have anything to describe this attire? Do they pick out their own clothes?

Roberts Batson: Uh – I really don’t know how the dresses are determined, but I would like to say that this is a traditional part of the Mardi Gras balls – the presentation of the debutantes. And almost all of the organizations do their — it usually comes right at the beginning of the ball, following the traditional format of the Mardi Gras ball.

[ cut to the next male debutante being escorted by another male ]

Penny Marshall V/O: It’s beautiful. Here comes another debutante.

Roberts Batson V/O: Is it what you expected?

Penny Marshall V/O: [ stunned ] I — nooo, I did not expect this at all. But it’s wonderful.

[ cut back to Penny and Roberts ]

Roberts Batson: You know, the dresses are not exactly the same.

Penny Marshall: No, they aren’t. She has a, uh —

Roberts Batson: They all maintain the white dress —

Penny Marshall: [ slightly stammering ] The white dress, yes.

Roberts Batson: — a slight difference in style —

Penny Marshall: And they bow differently —

Roberts Batson: Yes.

Penny Marshall: And they all have escorts. How many debutantes are there?

Roberts Batson: Uh, I believe — [ begins to count ] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 — six! Six debutantes.

Penny Marshall: Okay. [ to the camera ] We will be coming back to this wonderful ball in a few minutes. [ nervously ] I hope Cindy will, too..

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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