Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 2: Mardi Gras Special
The Bacchus Parade
Al Hirt…..John Belushi
[ open on SNL’s reviewing grandstand at the corner of Bourbon and Canal streets ]
Jane Curtin: Thank you, Randy![ the crowd surrounding the grandstand cheers, and already begins flinging beads toward Buck and Jane. A superball even riccochets off Jane’s head. ]
Jane Curtin: Aigh! Thank you, Randy. I’m Jane curtin.
Buck Henry: I’m Buck Henry. And we’re here, high above the Bacchus parade, which will be coming by our stand at any minute. It’s very exciting, above this.. SEA of humanity.
Jane Curtin: It’s an incredible crowd, and just a, just a note about the crowd: a woman has just given birth to a baby girl, and, in honor of the circumstances, she’s naming it “Crushed.”[ dissolve back to Buck and Jane ]
Buck Henry: Really an incredible thing to realize that — [ more beads and debris are flung toward Buck and Jane by the laughing crowd ] hundreds of thousands of Americans have traveled THOUSANDS of miles, just to come here to New Orleans to visit Bourbon Street and to throw up.
Jane Curtin: Because of the – because of the delay in the parade, let’s take time out now, to have a look at one of the more recent New Orleans traditions – and, of course, I’m talking about the annual “Let’s Hit Al Hirt in the Mouth with a Brick” contest. Here he is, live fom Bourbon Street, the King of Carnival himself – Mr. Al Hirt![ dissolve to Al Hirt standing in front of his Al Hirt’s Club at 501 Bourbon Street ] [ the crowd cheers as Al hirt holds up his trumpet, then breaks into a brassy lick of “When the Saints Go Marching In.” After about four seconds, three bricks fly in from opposite sides of the screen, the second bouncing off of Al’s right eye. Al momentariliy stops playing his trumpet, as he leers at the laughing crowd, then starts over. ] [ two more bricks fly in from the same side of the screen, as Al ducks. A third brick bounces off of his trumpet. A few more bricks and odd debris hit Al as well, knocking him to the pavement and causing him to finally stop blowing on his trumpet. Another foreign object lands at his body. ] [ the crowd cheers. Al picks himself up and starts over once again. He barely completes the first note as yet another brick bounces atop his head. More bricks and a banana strike Al across the head, as he again hits the pavement and stops blowing. ] [ Al carefully picks himself up, presses his trumpet to his lips and crouches before he takes his first blow. A rock hits him across the back, as more bricks and debris pelt him from the front. He tries valiantly to continue playing, but is once mroe knocked to the pavement as more bricks land on him. ] [ Al rolls onto his side and starts over. A brick immediately bounces off of his trumpet. A baseball bat lands on the pavement to his right. Al lies across his back and continues to blow his trumpet, as another bat hits him. Beer cans also land near him. More bricks and a hardhat also pelt him, as Al finally surrenders to the street. ] [ dissolve back to Buck Henry and Jane Curtin ]
Buck Henry: While we’re waiting for Al to regain consciousness, let’s go to this filmed message.[ dissolve to a repeat of Quarry ]