Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 2: Mardi Gras Special
Jane Curtin: And now, in another part of the French Quarter, covering crowd reaction, we take you to Eric Idle.[ dissolve to Eric Idle, seated at an outdoor table ]
Eric Idle: Bonjour, madame! [ extends his greeting in German ] Hello, and welcome to the Cafe [?], here in the heart of the New Orleans French Quarter. Here, there’s an atmosphere of almost unbelievable gaity — [ glances around the empty outdoor cafe ] and festivity. You can practically smell Mardi Gras here! The atmosphere, for four days, has been a feeling of Carnival, which was, uh, really here up to, uh, well, just a few short minutes ago, uh – before you came over here. [ grins ] The place was literally PACKED with revelers, party makers wearing beads and singing and dancing – it was a real Carnival atmosphere, and we were all having a really fun, fun time — up until a couple of moments ago. Literally, crowds of people were literally thronging [?] these streets, literally hundreds of GAY — uh, happy — folks were.. LURKING all over the place! What a pity, they’ve all gone.
Well, as you can see, the Carnival gaity, right now, seems to becoming also more fun here, as, in fact, from elsewhere. So let’s go, right away, over somewhere else! [ taps his earpiece ] Well, in fact, they say No. Apparently, we have some little technical problem – ha! – so we must stay here. Ha! Which, in fact, gives me time to tell you that, at the moment, it’s quite quiet here, in the French Quarter. [ glances at the emptiness that surrounds him ] Uh, but recently, it’s been much, much, MUCH noisier. Ha ha!
Uh – Mardi Gras, incidentally, means Fat Tuesday, and is named after the legendary New Orleans singer, Fat Tuesday. He, uh, he was a friend of Fats Domino and Fats Waller – there were three of them, all fat, and one Tuesday. [ breathes heavily ] So! Uh.. a word about the French Quarter: only half of the French Quarter is, in fact, French; another quarter of the French Quarter is not at all French; a hald of the maining quarter is a bit French; and one-quarter of the remaining quarter of the quarter is Polish. [ taps his earpiece ] Ah! Well, I’m very glad to tell you that we can now — [ his smile freezes ] stay here.. a little bit.. longer. So. [ checks his watch ] Ha ha! Ah! [ pulls a postcard out of his jacket ] Incidentally, here – here is a picture of – of one of the parades. It’s a postcard – ha! – uh – this should show you what it’s, in fact, like at the moment! [ points to various points on the postcard ] Ha! Here, you can see Bacchus. Here’s Buck and Jane, over there. [ bounces the postcard up and down ] In fact, if I move it around a little bit, you’ll get some idea of — [ audience cheers ]
Well, it must be really exciting over there by now! Ha! What a pity.. we’re not over there. [ tosses the postcard across the way, then stretches his arm out and begins to sing: ] “If I ruled the world! / Every day would be the first day of Spring! –“[ the reveler seated facefirst in his food now falls to the pavement, as Idle checks on him ] [ fade ]