SNL Transcripts: Mardi Gras Special: 02/20/77: Cemeteries



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 2: Mardi Gras Special




Mardi Gras Special

Cemeteries

[ open passenger window point-of-view as Gary Weis drives through an above-ground cemetery ] [ dissolve to a painter adding a fresh coat of white paint to one of the above-ground tombs ]

Painter: [ the audio is off at first ] — for nothin’, some of ’em. We ain’t even paid a nickel for ’em. But,since things are so rough on the graveyard now, I gotta charge that fee. I can’t do it for nothin’ no more. It’s one of those things. I guess ’cause paint costs money now, and things ain’t cheap no more, you know? But I love it out in this graveyard. People don’t talk back to you. If they talk back to you – if they talk back to you, I’m leaving! I painted tombs for a living at St. Patrick’s Cemetery – it is gone, but her husband was buried — I was on top that tomb painting, I told her, I said, “Listen, darling – if your husband talks back to me, I’m gonna leave you, the paint, brush, truck, and everything behind. I’m leaving! I’m gone!” [ chuckles ] Boy, she got a big kick out of that!

[ dissolve to the same painter now dishing on a different subject ]

Painter: Crabbing? I go crabbing – I caught a crab, twenty-five inches. He’s still hanging out — [ points his thumb backwards ] He’s in a – he’s in a bar about two days, out there on Haynes Boulevard. Louis Louis. I hang him on top the – the – the place there, the door, so everybody can see the crab. He’s got a paw so big, it’s pitiful.

[ dissolve to further in the day, the painter still talking ]

Painter: Most money I make out here, I save. Most of it, I save. [ inaudinble ] I-I-I save, and I give birthday parties every year. Give a beautiful birthday party. Put a hundred dollars on the bar – that’s for the drinks – I buy a cake, costs about thirty dollars – my birthday cake – it’s so big, you got enough cake that people take the cake home. I got a big hare in my pot – cut up, sliced. Awww, never seem to mention [?] In the bayou, we got rabbit! A friend of mine’s supposed to be Cherokee – cooked rabbit for us.

[ dissolve again to further in the day ]

Painter: Well, up on the ridge, I can’t say nothin’ about it – I love New Orleans. I been a few places, but I still think New Orleans is the best. [ audience cheers ] I tell you, they got better weather, better — everything’s better here. They got people way from out here — it’s something, it’s cold, it’s snowing, or — we ain’t got that here!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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