Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 3: Episode 2
October 8th, 1977
The Trial Of Lee Harry OswaldSummary: ABC’s “the names have been changed to protect the innocent” version of the JFK assassination features Lee Harry Oswald (Bill Murray) being hit in the face with a pie.
Madeline Kahn’s MonologueSummary: Madeline Kahn announces that the show will go on, despite the rainy weather, then comments on the uncertain nature of live television and life itself.
First Hosted: 75s.
SwillSummary: A traveling salesman (Bill Murray) savors the flavor of the mineral weater dredged from Lake Erie.
Bad OperaSummary: An opera singer’s (Madeline Kahn) performance in “Die Goldenklang” is ruined by a case of larynx lock while performing the Golden Note.
Recurring Characters: Leonard Pinth-Garnell, Steve Bushakis, Ronnie Bateman.
Anyone Can Host ContestSummary: Lorne Michaels announces the “Anyone Can Host” contest for home viewers.
Bianca Jagger and Three or Four of Her Close Personal FriendsSummary: A glimpse at the intimate yet mundane dinner conversations between Bianca Jagger (Madeline Kahn) and her close personal friends Truman Capote (John Belushi), Princess Grace (Jane Curtin), and Margaret Trudeau (Laraine Newman).
Recurring Characters: Truman Capote, Princess Grace.
Taj Mahal performs “Queen Bee”
“The Acid Generation: Where Are They Now?”Summary: One decade later, the hippies from the 1960’s are elderly, retired, and nostalgic for the old days.
Weekend Update with Jane Curtin & Dan AykroydSummary: NBC’s Dancing N hands a news bulletin to Dan Aykroyd. Dan Aykroyd dons a fake Russian accent to narrate supposed file footage of the 1957 Sputnik launch. Entertainment reporter Bill Murray reviews the new Donny & Marie show and expresses his concern for Marie’s sexy new image.
Silver Balls & Golden PinsSummary: As a preacher (Bill Murray) delivers his sermon, the female statuette (Madeline Kahn) atop a bowling trophy sings “Silver Balls & Golden Pins”.
Reverse DiscriminationSummary: Vengeful Craig Baker (John Belushi) sues for reverse discrimination when a blind black man (Garrett Morris) is accepted to law school instead of him.
“Autumn In New York”Summary: In a film by Gary Weis, Madeline Kahn sings “Autumn in New York” while prancing through the city.
The Pink BoxSummary: Sally’s (Gilda Radner) new feminine hygeine product is personal and mysterious that neither she or Vickie (Laraine Newman) can figure out what it is or what it’s supposed to do.
Hercules Movie DubSummary: Voice actor (Dan Aykroyd) handles all the voices while dubbing a Hercules film for English audiences.
Dame Edna EverageSummary: Madeline Kahn interviews British stage actress Dame Edna Everage (Barry Humphries) on a variety of odd topics.
Pocket PalSummary: Traveling businessman (Dan Aykroyd) carries the electronic device that can predict mid-air collisions within ten seconds of impact.
Women’s SecretsSummary: A drunken Judith (Madeline Kahn) and Gail (Gilda Radner) divulge randy secrets while waiting a man to call Gail the day after their date.
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