SNL Transcripts: Madeline Kahn: 10/08/77: Anyone Can Host Contest


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 3: Episode 2

77b: Madeline Kahn / Taj Mahal

Anyone Can Host Contest

…..Lorne Michaels

[ open on Lorne Michaels, Producer, seated at a desk surrounded by plants and wall photos ]

Lorne Michaels: How many of you out there watching this show right now are saying to yourselves, “You know, Madeline Kahn is pretty good, but… I think I could do a better job than that.” Well… here’s your chance. Because, now, Anyone Can Host Saturday Night Live. All you have to do is write a postcard and state, in 25 words or less, why you want to host “Saturday Night Live”. And mail your postcard to:

[ address card fades onto screen ]

ANYONE CAN HOSTBox 722Radio City StationNew York, New York 10019

Lorne Michaels V/O: Your entry MUST be in by Midnight, November the 1st.

[ cut back to Lorne ]

Lorne Michaels: You need no theatrical experience — just talent and a strong belief in yourself. If your postcard is funny — in the opinion of our staff — you might be one of the FIVE finalists who will be fown to New York in November to read your postcard, LIVE, on the show. [ he stifles a laugh ] Then it’s up to you, the people at home, to decide. The lucky winner will be flown to New York, put up in the swank Eck — [ he laughs ] Eck — Essex House Hotel! And, uh, get to meet and work with the Not Ready For Prime Time Players. And you’ll be paid the same $3,000 we pay any other host, or even The Beatles, uh, if they’d only show up. Best of all, you’ll host “Saturday Night”‘s Christmas show on December 17th.

So, just drop us a post card… However — if you should see ANY of the Not Ready For Prime Time Players, or anyone from “Saturday Night”, including myself, let’s say, at a fancy restaurant, and you say to yourself, “Hey! Why mail a postcard? I’ll just drop it off now at their table!” You’ll be immediately disqualified. Otherwise, we don’t care who or what you are. If you can lick a stamp, you’re on your way to stardom.

So, there it is. Anyone Can Host, and we give you that chance because… that’s just the kind of people we are.

[ address card fades onto screen ]

ANYONE CAN HOSTBox 722Radio City StationNew York, New York 10019

Don Pardo V/O: Send your post cards to: ANYONE CAN HOST / Box 722 / Radio City Station / New York, New York 10019.

Employees and the families of employees of RCA, NBC, or any of their related companies, are not eligible. This contest is void where prohibited by law.

[ cut back to Lorne ]

Lorne Michaels: Maybe I’ll see you… in December.

[ fade to black ]

SNL Transcripts

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x