Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 3: Episode 2
[ open on women’s locker room ]
Vickie: Best I’ve ever seen you play, Sally! You seem so poised and self-assured today.
Sally: [ upbeat ] Thanks, Vickie! I am! I never even knew it was POSSIBLE to be this sure of myself as a woman! [ she takes an object from her locker ]
Vickie: What’s that?
Sally: Oh, it’s this WONDERFUL new woman’s product! I don’t know — I’ve just been so confident and secure ever ince I’ve had it!
Vickie: Well, what’s it for?
Sally: [ she chuckles ] Confidence!
Vickie: Well, do you put it on you, or in you?
Sally: [ ambivalent ] I guess so!
Vickie: Is it welcomed protection against odor all year round?
Vickie: Does it come in flavors?
Vickie: What’s two and two?
Vickie: Just checking. [ she grabs the object and looks around it ] Well, does it have a name?
Sally: Uh — I don’t know!
Vickie: [ frustrated ] Well, how do you open it?
Sally: I don’t know! I honestly don’t know. I just know I’ve never felt so feminine or so protected in my whole life! [ she turns to the camera and smiles ] So — if you want to feel fresh and confident all year round, look for the Pink Box — wherever it might be sold![ dissolve to product slide ]
Announcer: [ over TEXT ] A woman’s product so personal that even we don’t what it is.[ cut back to Sally ]
Sally: Having it solves the problem of… being without it![ fade ]