SNL Transcripts: Madeline Kahn: 10/08/77: Pink Box


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 3: Episode 2

77b: Madeline Kahn / Taj Mahal

Pink Box

Vickie…..Laraine Newman
Sally…..Gilda Radner

[ open on women’s locker room ]

Vickie: Best I’ve ever seen you play, Sally! You seem so poised and self-assured today.

Sally: [ upbeat ] Thanks, Vickie! I am! I never even knew it was POSSIBLE to be this sure of myself as a woman! [ she takes an object from her locker ]

Vickie: What’s that?

Sally: Oh, it’s this WONDERFUL new woman’s product! I don’t know — I’ve just been so confident and secure ever ince I’ve had it!

Vickie: Well, what’s it for?

Sally: [ she chuckles ] Confidence!

Vickie: Well, do you put it on you, or in you?

Sally: [ ambivalent ] I guess so!

Vickie: Is it welcomed protection against odor all year round?

Sally: Possibly!

Vickie: Does it come in flavors?

Sally: Maybe!

Vickie: What’s two and two?

Sally: FOUR!

Vickie: Just checking. [ she grabs the object and looks around it ] Well, does it have a name?

Sally: Uh — I don’t know!

Vickie: [ frustrated ] Well, how do you open it?

Sally: I don’t know! I honestly don’t know. I just know I’ve never felt so feminine or so protected in my whole life! [ she turns to the camera and smiles ] So — if you want to feel fresh and confident all year round, look for the Pink Box — wherever it might be sold!

[ dissolve to product slide ]

Announcer: [ over TEXT ] A woman’s product so personal that even we don’t what it is.

[ cut back to Sally ]

Sally: Having it solves the problem of… being without it!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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