SNL Transcripts: Madeline Kahn: 10/08/77: Pink Box


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 3: Episode 2

77b: Madeline Kahn / Taj Mahal

Pink Box

Vickie…..Laraine Newman
Sally…..Gilda Radner

[ open on women’s locker room ]

Vickie: Best I’ve ever seen you play, Sally! You seem so poised and self-assured today.

Sally: [ upbeat ] Thanks, Vickie! I am! I never even knew it was POSSIBLE to be this sure of myself as a woman! [ she takes an object from her locker ]

Vickie: What’s that?

Sally: Oh, it’s this WONDERFUL new woman’s product! I don’t know — I’ve just been so confident and secure ever ince I’ve had it!

Vickie: Well, what’s it for?

Sally: [ she chuckles ] Confidence!

Vickie: Well, do you put it on you, or in you?

Sally: [ ambivalent ] I guess so!

Vickie: Is it welcomed protection against odor all year round?

Sally: Possibly!

Vickie: Does it come in flavors?

Sally: Maybe!

Vickie: What’s two and two?

Sally: FOUR!

Vickie: Just checking. [ she grabs the object and looks around it ] Well, does it have a name?

Sally: Uh — I don’t know!

Vickie: [ frustrated ] Well, how do you open it?

Sally: I don’t know! I honestly don’t know. I just know I’ve never felt so feminine or so protected in my whole life! [ she turns to the camera and smiles ] So — if you want to feel fresh and confident all year round, look for the Pink Box — wherever it might be sold!

[ dissolve to product slide ]

Announcer: [ over TEXT ] A woman’s product so personal that even we don’t what it is.

[ cut back to Sally ]

Sally: Having it solves the problem of… being without it!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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