SNL Transcripts: Madeline Kahn: 10/08/77: Pink Box

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 3: Episode 2

77b: Madeline Kahn / Taj Mahal

Pink Box

Vickie…..Laraine Newman
Sally…..Gilda Radner

[ open on women’s locker room ]

Vickie: Best I’ve ever seen you play, Sally! You seem so poised and self-assured today.

Sally: [ upbeat ] Thanks, Vickie! I am! I never even knew it was POSSIBLE to be this sure of myself as a woman! [ she takes an object from her locker ]

Vickie: What’s that?

Sally: Oh, it’s this WONDERFUL new woman’s product! I don’t know — I’ve just been so confident and secure ever ince I’ve had it!

Vickie: Well, what’s it for?

Sally: [ she chuckles ] Confidence!

Vickie: Well, do you put it on you, or in you?

Sally: [ ambivalent ] I guess so!

Vickie: Is it welcomed protection against odor all year round?

Sally: Possibly!

Vickie: Does it come in flavors?

Sally: Maybe!

Vickie: What’s two and two?

Sally: FOUR!

Vickie: Just checking. [ she grabs the object and looks around it ] Well, does it have a name?

Sally: Uh — I don’t know!

Vickie: [ frustrated ] Well, how do you open it?

Sally: I don’t know! I honestly don’t know. I just know I’ve never felt so feminine or so protected in my whole life! [ she turns to the camera and smiles ] So — if you want to feel fresh and confident all year round, look for the Pink Box — wherever it might be sold!

[ dissolve to product slide ]

Announcer: [ over TEXT ] A woman’s product so personal that even we don’t what it is.

[ cut back to Sally ]

Sally: Having it solves the problem of… being without it!

[ fade ]

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