Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 3: Episode 2
Salesman: [ seated at lunch counter ] As a salesman, I do a lot of traveling. And when it comes to lunch, I grab what I can, usually on the run. And when I want mineral water, I keep it simple, and I keep it domestic. [ places bottle on counter ] I drink Swill. The water that’s dredged from Lake Erie.[ voice over video of Swill being dredged from Lake Erie ]
Nothing’s added to Swill. It comes straight from the Lake to you. Maybe you thought only European countries had mineral water, but let me tell you: we bottle some pretty special water right here in America.[ cut back to Salesman at lunch counter ]
Yeah. America. Water with a character all its own. Swill’s refreshing; it’s low in calories; and Swill helps wash down a hearty meal like this that tends to just lay in your stomach. [ pours runny ketchup on his hamburger ] [ Music Over: “Anticipation” by Carly Simon ] [ Plays as Swill slowly pours into Salesman’s glass, complete with sludge, dirt and a flip-top from a soda can ]
Salesman: I like mine with a twist. [ squeezes a lime wedge into his glass of Swill ]
Announcer: Swill. Everything you’ve always wanted in a mineral water. And more.