SNL Transcripts: Madeline Kahn: 10/08/77: The Trial of Lee Harry Oswald


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 3: Episode 2

77b: Madeline Kahn / Taj Mahal

The Trial of Lee Harry Oswald

Reporter…..Dan Aykroyd
Lee Harry Oswald…..Bill Murray
Pie Thrower…..John Belushi
Guard…..Mitchell Laurance
Deputy…..Andy Murphy
Other Reporters…..Al Franken, Jim Downey, Tom Schiller, Alan Zweibel

[ open on announcer slide: ]

Announcer: Due to the mature subject matter of the following broadcast, parental guidance is suggested.

[ slide two: ]

Announcer: The following ABC mini-series is based upon historical fact.

[ slide three: ]

Announcer: However some of the names and events have been changed to make the program more entertaining.

[ cut to black-and-white corridor scene filled with reporters ] [ slide three temporarily superimposes upon the screen once more, as Reporter addresses the camera ]

Reporter: In a moment —

[ slide four appears: “THE TRIAL OF LEE HARRY OSWALD” ] [ Dan Aykroyd is momentarily flummoxed by the technical glitch ] [ Caption: “Houston, November 1964” ]

Reporter: In a moment, Lee Harry Oswald, the man police say shot President John F. Curry, will be brought down this corridor toward a waiting car and then transported to Houston County Jail, where he will probably remain until his trial.

[ from the far end of the corridor, Oswald is led toward the reporters by a guard and a deputy ]

Reporter: Uh — there seems to be some, uh, activity now — yes! There’s Oswald now. Now, police claim that they have an airtight case against him. Oswald’s motive appears to have been jealousy — evidently, the handsome young president had been having an affair with Oswald’s wife, the beautiful Boshai ballerina, Marina Harry Oswald. Of course, uh — police have the gun — Oswald denies ANY knowledge of this. And, uh — he will be under, uh — heavy and federal state guard —

[ a man jumps from the crowd ]

Reporter: Wait! A man just jumped out the crowd — an overweight man has —

[ the man shoves a cream pie into Oswald’s face, then grins proudly at the camera as the reporters clamor ]


SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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