Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 3: Episode 2
77b: Madeline Kahn / Taj Mahal
The Trial of Lee Harry Oswald
Reporter…..Dan Aykroyd
Lee Harry Oswald…..Bill Murray
Pie Thrower…..John Belushi
Guard…..Mitchell Laurance
Deputy…..Andy Murphy
Other Reporters…..Al Franken, Jim Downey, Tom Schiller, Alan Zweibel
Announcer: Due to the mature subject matter of the following broadcast, parental guidance is suggested.
[ slide two: ]Announcer: The following ABC mini-series is based upon historical fact.
[ slide three: ]Announcer: However some of the names and events have been changed to make the program more entertaining.
Reporter: In a moment —
[ slide four appears: “THE TRIAL OF LEE HARRY OSWALD” ] [ Dan Aykroyd is momentarily flummoxed by the technical glitch ] [ Caption: “Houston, November 1964” ]Reporter: In a moment, Lee Harry Oswald, the man police say shot President John F. Curry, will be brought down this corridor toward a waiting car and then transported to Houston County Jail, where he will probably remain until his trial.
[ from the far end of the corridor, Oswald is led toward the reporters by a guard and a deputy ]Reporter: Uh — there seems to be some, uh, activity now — yes! There’s Oswald now. Now, police claim that they have an airtight case against him. Oswald’s motive appears to have been jealousy — evidently, the handsome young president had been having an affair with Oswald’s wife, the beautiful Boshai ballerina, Marina Harry Oswald. Of course, uh — police have the gun — Oswald denies ANY knowledge of this. And, uh — he will be under, uh — heavy and federal state guard —
[ a man jumps from the crowd ]Reporter: Wait! A man just jumped out the crowd — an overweight man has —
[ the man shoves a cream pie into Oswald’s face, then grins proudly at the camera as the reporters clamor ]Lee Harry Oswald: “LIVE! FROM NEW YORK! IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!”
